Attempt Two...
February 17, 2008
I
Since when did bands become a battlefield? A weapon for social ladder climbing? A means of leverage?
No one owns anyone, or owes anyone anything.
Quit fighting and start promoting. Abandon the ship if you don't want the ship to sail. The ship wants you aboard, but only if you're aboard to sail.
II
I miss the tour. I miss Damone. I miss Atomic Tom. I miss touring with bands that I love. I miss everyone that was there for the right reason. I miss the fans. I miss the late night drives. I miss the old friends. I miss the community. I miss my bandmate's musicianship. I miss my bandmate's wit and companionship.
Band's challenged each other to grow. It was real. Now it's gone. I want it again.
Thank you for making that week possible. I miss it.
III
Most people don't know this, but I have been a nomad since September. Our lease was up right before we left for a tour, so we put our belongings in storage, and headed out on the road. While it was liberating to no longer worry about unnecessary rent while touring, I now return to... return to...the next chapter.
Some good things have come of this odd lifestyle. I am constantly driven to set up the next "event", because going home to chill out isn't an option, minus the holiday, which was WONDERFUL seeing my family.
This unexpected nomadic period of my life has pleasantly resulted in trips all over the world, and endless spree of projects and opportunities. The uncomfortable situations and anxiety that come with this lifestyle fuel the drive and the creativity almost more than the early stages of my band, when I was living off of tuna sandwiches and baby carrots.
In this "segment" I have embarked upon a stellar trip to London, ended up in the woods writing and painting, made a bizzare holiday musical, wrote country songs in Nashville, wrote art songs in New York, played some great shows with friends, got to write with a lot of friends. Then the band we toured... shortly, but sweetly. Then one van went to Boston, one went to Brooklyn. I took the van to Brooklyn. I am the luckiest person alive to have such hospitable friends. The timeline kept spinning and I scored my friend's short film, my friends threw me a wonderful birthday celeration, and recently Kyle invited me to record in a cathedral in Charleston, South Carolina... where I turned back into my old mad composer self and was surrounded in a mess of string arrangements all night long. I saw sunrises. The pay off was well worth it. Now I'm in Atlanta. Tomorrow I'm in LA.
I never know what's next. Maybe this is what it is to "live in the moment". I could complain about it (and I have done my fair share of complaining about how joining a band with a marketing flaw can make you go broke... just ask Luke White- but that's another blog.. or book), but then I look at everything accomplished, and know that it's meant to be... for now, at least. Perhaps I'll melt down and get a place in Brooklyn amongst my friends when the time is right and the time may be soon... but the time will tell.








Becca said:
Ben, I don't really know what to say...I don't know that there is anything I could say to make you feel better. I have never been in the position you are in now but I empathize with you, you are in my prayers and in my thoughts...I wish I could relate to you. That I could tell you I know where you are coming from, I wish I could say that I have been there before but I can't say any of those things. I hope ur doing well and I sincerely hope that you are in a good place spiritually, mentally, and healthy. As long as you are aboard the ship, I am always going to be on it.
Jade said:
i envy you. 









































