Though you want to, though you've tried to, you can't stop the rain.
April 24, 2009
It happens every time I am stressed, and everytime situations are completely out of my hands.
Some people bake. Some people go for a long run. Some people rip out their hair.
Sometimes I will drive for hours and just sing at the top of my lungs. Since that is out of the question, and part of what is out of my hands...I will attempt to find something organized. When things are out of my hands, I try my hardest to organize SOMETHING that is within my grasp.
This week has just been one of THOSE weeks...and I feel like I'm losing the touch of control I had over so many situations. I've lost control with some of my tasks at work - which is a whole other blog in itself. I just want a vacation...but I have no control over the timing yet. I was so ready for the final stretch in my vocal recovery...when the doctor found another cyst. And I'm back to being scared out of my mind...and I feel like there's no one to talk to about it. So there, I said it. I'm scared. Again. I don't know if I'm strong enough to do this again - I obviously wasn't strong enough the first time :( So I'm right back to square one. Preparing for silence, probably for longer this time. I'm waiting for an answer via E-mail... Completely out of my control.
This is my first fairly empty weekend in a while. I planned to clean my car, bedroom, the kitchen, the dining room, the bathroom, and the living room this weekend (so basically organize every physical space in my entire life)...and today I got a head start. The living room is spotless and dusted. I need to organize the DVDs. The kitchen is cleaned, dishes are washed and drying, old food is thrown away. The dining room no longer has hair on the floor from the salon days. Crumbs are gone. The art table is in line. The inside of my car is tidied...just needs vacuuming and outside wash.
All that's left is the bathroom, my bedroom, and the food cupboards...then it'll all be perfect and organized.
Something will be perfect and organized and in line. Just what I need.
Monday. Monday will bring answers. Monday is just out of reach...but when it comes, it will be perfect. Monday morning, it will all be in my reach. So until then...get ready. The mop and broom are out.
