... flying across the room. So fast so far, you were gone too soon. You are a part of me and I'll never be the same here without you. You were gone too soon.

... or not.

Temptations may affect me due to my surroundings. There are electronics gadgets here and there yet my exercise books are being pushed aside. Thanks to me. Knowing that my major exams is around the corner, I have to study really hard for History and aiming at least a B if possible. Nonetheless, workshop bugs me even more if I happen to get a C, a D or probably an E. I won't want that to happen even though it seems impossible for me to score a B for History but I will definitely strike for the hardest and aim high. Impossible is no longer in my dictionary. In fact, whenever I feel like I-am-not-good-enough-feeling happen to hit me at times, obviously it's gonna be very distracting till I lay myself at dawn, watching the half eclipse outside the house, thoughts over me would appear saying, "Is that why people look down on me because I am not smart enough?"

... I'll definitely not let it happen again.

I do have friends that compare how smart they are saying that they are in a better class than me but you know what? I don't really care what you people have to think about me. Even though you're my friend, I have the rights to voice out my opinion. I have the rights to decide my future, not friends decide for me in a bad way. (But for those who decide for me in a good way, I thank you all for being so concern.) Now this goes to the person that really insults me because I'm right at the last from the front to the back. I don't go based on what class is first, second or third. I don't really care what is the position of every classroom in school. As long I'm happy with the subjects I'm taking, I'm definitely fine.

Right now, I feel like I'm on the right track. Praise God for helping me to made the right decision, as well as my friends that has been there for me.

As you readers wonder what's with the main title about (as stated above)? It's something for me to thank for yet I couldn't express my appreciation towards anyone. The fact that I know people often look down on me but hey, when it comes to the bright side, why frown?

In fact, God gave me something unique to be thankful at/for.  First of all, my current size and weight. Note that most of the girls are dying to have a nice body shape or probably trying their hardest to lose weight. Cut down on fast food, food that tempts you.Normally people eat and then, put on weight probably +1kg. But whenever I have a REALLY heavy meal (actually, everyday I eat likeee.. a gorilla or a godzilla. I can never stop eating) but never put on weight. It's something to be thankful for and I really appreciate it, knowing that it's God's gift.

I'm proud to say that I'm short too. Thou people laugh their butts off because I'm short and they'd compare saying, "Even my 12 years old brother is taller than you." Without their knowledge, wouldn't it be cooler if you look young by being short? People assume me below 15 years old. Nonetheless, I'm proud to look young. If people were to compare my height between their friend/enemy/son/daughter/niece/nephew (OKAY FINE, ONE HAPPY FAMILY THEY'D WANT TO COMPARE & INSULT), their words aren't going to be in my cerebrum. Self esteem may hit me at times but I will definitely fight for the positive side. That's number two.

Third, knowing that I do have a talent to draw. Just that I don't really use it. Maybe, I'm quite negative when it comes to people who are better than me. They draw, design so well till I feel like I'm some kind of a sore loser that hasn't done her part well. The truth is, I have to agree that it was quite harsh of me losing confident and giving up so easily. But this time, I will not give up and use it for its glory. After all, God treasure me with this hidden talent of mine. Just that I never find its missing puzzle to fix back every missing pieces to build confident. I'd ask myself to be better for now.

Fourth, knowing that I do love writing short stories here and there. God gave me an image to imagine the surroundings and its conflict. Life is also a chapter. Everything that occur every minute and second shall be written as a scripture. No wonder God let us experience the real world for us to record every story in our lives. 

Lastly, the way I am now. Thou I'm different from others. Everybody is different. None of us can be the same or be another duplicate of this person, or that person. I thank God for showering me with blessings and giving me the courage to take the stand.

Currently listening to Safe, sang by Westlife. My first boyband I was introduced to and I have been lovin' their songs since I was 4. I remember when MTV was showing one of their music videos - "If I Let You Go". I used to mistaken Kian as "Let You Go Guy" because I was so young at that time and had to nickname-d him that. Poor guy but then again, I enjoy theiir songs 'till now. Like after Brian left Westlife and have his own solo album, I'm still lovin' Westlife - which left 4 members right after Brian left, it was 5.

& guess what? I just gotten their new album - Gravity.

It keeps playing the same old songs from the album eversince evening but never get sick of it.

Speaking of Westlife, today is Christmas Eve. For the past few days, there were many ups and downs, lots of happening days and frustrated as to be seen. Watched Gulliver's Travels yesterday night in the theatre. It was awesome and had a good laugh at that guy, Jack Black. Gosh, he's an awesome actor. Jack Black for the win!

Tomorrow is Christmas. The festive shall begin and am hoping for a good celebration tomorrow. I don't mind resting the whole day tomorrow because Christmas isn't meant to be turkeys, christmas trees and wine. Tomorrow is a special day - Our Savior was born, we praise God, we pray. 

Merry Christmas everybody! Merry Christmas, my readers. Have a blessed Christmas! Hope you'll have a White Christmas. ;-)

“Have you ever felt like you have been stabbed at the back without realizing it? I did.”

…

And I regretted for knowing you, honesty.

#

Somehow I have no idea why do people have to reluctant and say, “Oh, sorry for everything, I’m sorry for last time I treated you like a toy.” BUT right after a few months, (no, not even 2 months but did it again?) It repeated.. Just like a remote control. In my entire life, I tried to control my temper and obviously, I had to hold my tongue before complaining. But looks like I have the guts to complain already, eh?

Tell me about it. You promised, but ended up breaking it instantly. Who do you think I am? Please, I’m nobody’s slave. I understand you have hard times going through but this is ridiculous!

It’s worthless to even forgive because once you forgive and then forget, everything go back to square one.

Don’t you get tired doing the same thing over and over again?

This Christmas, I need a second chance to forgive and forget.

It's been awhile since I blog. Sorry for the delay.

I've come back. Finally. *gave a loud relief*. NYEHEHEHEH. Known as the same Catreena as usual. Just that I have been catching up with good korean music and series. Holidays are going on right now in Malaysia. (come to think 'bout it, next year is already 2011! Aren't you excited, readers?)

& yes, christmas is around the corner. This coming Wednesday, have plans with my friends at 1U. Hope everything turns out well.

Been very sleepy lately. What else, eh? Ah yes.

Before the year 2010 ends, why not we together go through our moments from there onwards?

Overall.. this year is kinda better than last year thou. Made new friends throughout the year. School as usual.. very tiring and hellyeah, I sort-of wasted my time not putting lots of effort when it comes to study. Which means next year I can't enjoy but books around my desk while my phone's playing the music. Gees, how I wish I can undo them all? 

2011 awaits for you, people. I hope everything's gonna be fine.

I'll update more. I'm getting really sleeeepppppyyyyy *yikes*.

“It’s no point holding unto your past and never let go. It simplify that you are not a strong person. Learn to forgive and forget. It’s a key to develop a smile on your face.” 

Hi! It’s been a while since I updated. Right now, I’m gonna list down everything. Thou, I do not have the mood and am feeling really blue today, I’ve got lots of things to share.

Yes, things went upside down ever since Thursday, if I can ever recall? But am glad that God strengthens me throughout the whole situations and conflicts here and there.

As I was reading a book, a really good book, I came across to read and learn about God, and why am I here on earth? Yes, just now, I was feeling blue. Was trying to hide my feelings and my scar because I knew I have to be strong. This is just a beginning. I was halfway reading the book and this verse made my day,

“God keep his promise, and he will not allow you to be tested beyond your power to remain firm, at the time you are put to the test, he will give you strength to endure it, and so provide you with a way out.”

Yesyes, very true. It shows how great God is.

My inner wish is to help the people around here and make a better place (eventhough I am not God, but I bet there are some ways to help around, right?)

Now, I truly understand why do pollution, conflicts, situations, tragedy, nature tragedy, accidents happen. It all starts with God. He created Heaven and Earth. He created nature, plants, sea, sky, day, night, water, animals, humans, scenery, sun, moon, snow, autumn, spring, summer and the whole lot of amusing things and creations on earth. Adam and Eve failed their test in the Garden of Eden and did not follow God’s instructions. That’s partly how disasters happen.

#

If you’re reading this, to whom I make somebody really pissed off, or anybody, anyone, whoever I offended. I’m sorry. You have the rights to not forgive and forget about the whole thing, you have the rights to not befriends anymore, you have the rights to hate me, you have the rights to curse me how much you desire. I don’t mind because “hating” is not the answer to/in every question. You’re a human, I’m a human. But if I ever have one wish of who I want to be, I rather be snow because it brightens and symbolize of joy and happiness, or a bird. symbolize of breaking free and freedom. 

When it comes to a person and you’re living in a temporary skin and body. In life, it’s normal to “think about yourself” because humans tends to live in a body, God has given them one life, and their life is mainly about them. in your shoes, you’re the main character here. It’s normal. That’s why God test your love, loyalty, your reaction, and all of life is a test. You’re always being tested. God constantly watches the simplest actions such as when you open a door for others, that’s a example. Even how you vein your anger towards others, your reaction towards others. 

Understandable, some people suffers here. All of us suffer. Earth is not our home, it’s a test from God. You’re here to spread God’s word and the good news.

Your talent, your effort are not wasted. When life gets tough, when you’re overwhelmed with doubts, remember, you’re not home yet. When it comes to death, you won’t leave home, you’ll go home.

The world's insane.

And I think that 2012 (referring to the movie) is really coming true. 

Have you ever notice that the world is getting more discrimination? Gah. First, it was about the Muslims burning down around 9 churches in Malaysia (Asia) and now it's about Haiti.

I hope it doesn't lead like how the 2012 movie is. Gah.

Countdown : 11 more days! Woots, I can't wait. (By the way, it happened to be on Ash Wednesday) means sacrificing on my big day? It seems like I do not have a choice but to sacrifice. :) ; am just doing it for God.

Okay, I need to get some sleep. I haven't been sleeping well lately. My room's full of homework and it needs to be finish up by Monday. STRESS. 

I'm addicted to BigBang. :D

INSOMNIA.

The world's insane!

Don't you think so?

It's been a while since I updated here. I have been extremely busy lately. Work, work and work and next month, my results is coming out. I'm hoping for the best as I had already done my part for the entire 10 months.

I am currently working as a officer (in a lawyer's office) but I'm working during the holidays to earn a lil bit of money. Working there is extremely tough and torturing but it's okay. I don't mind but looking at the bright side, I could gain experience.

About today, I recently watched New Moon. It was awesome. At first, I thought it was boring but watching it from A-Z , it makes me feel like I want to watch it for the second time (perhaps a million times). And I bought an Ipod touch last Monday, I'm lovin' this gadget and its apps. :D

However, I decided to spend my time blogging here as usual. (: ; and not to forget, happy belated birthday, The One Love. Thou it's a late wish, may it be bless till the entire year. :D

I am heading to work tomorrow. Will promise to update more. :D Till then and God bless. :D

#

Today's Friday. *cough-

and I don't have to stay back this week and next week too. hoho, good news . (:

But the sad part is, I have to sit for my PMR this coming Wednesday. I'm anxious to know what's going to happen. I'm wondering. 

#

I'll survive. Yes, I can.

Have been extremely stress lately . Exams are next Wednesday. I'm just giving out my best. I can picture myself taking the results in my school hall. Stikes with fear, flashbacks.

I can imagine that.

Many people are depending on me to score well (Hey, I'm not perfect, right) and I'm not the study-type-of-person. Unfortunately. I have to aim higher each day and I miss blogging here , badly.

With god's grace, I believe (?) I can chase my dreams and to not give up. I need a counsellor. I'm under lots of stress lately. I can't wait for 13 October to come, which means freedom and I'm out of the cage of stress. Thank goodness. October's coming ! O: 2009 is a fast year. Have you ever realize it ?

" The hardest you get, the stronger you get"

I'm sort of feeling in that way right now. It's just that I had been extremely down. Could it be friends? study? or love life? I do not know how to describe it but then again, ended up gettng heart-broken is worth than losing everything.

I'm not gonna make it obvious but I do not know and either how to share it with my friends about my situation. I don't even know why am I heart broken for? Could it be for a guy? a friend? or the results that doesn't sactify me ?

Today is such a moody monday, indeed. As usual, I hide my feelings, as cheerful and hyper as I can be.

It's a guy who change alot, he used to be extremely hyper and happy and a person that was fun to be around but now, he's so emo and a person that doesn't represents him at all, and I have a feeling is because of a girl that doesn't accept to be his boyfriend. Poor thing.

And my exams are around the corner, not happy with my results either. I'm hoping to back-up for my exams and do well. And friends problem? I have tons, yet, it takes forever to solve it.

What a difficult life, only music can help me to solve and brighten up my day? But it doesn't last. It only last for a minute or an hour.

I'm just feeling, so... down.

And my exams are coming up in 3 weeks time, or less.

Yet, I am feeling extremely miserable and I do not have the mood to study.

Where there's hope. There's still a life for you.

I recall myself as a failure. I tends to share a story of me, living in a background of the dark side. I may not have the ability or the talent to show but I am just a human. I may not be perfect and a girl that you think. Thankfully, I am still alive. It had been 15 years and yet, it still goes on like a flowing river.

And that's no wonder the one love blog exist. It's to share your experience and to be open up. It's like a community, a family member in the community. I am glad to be the part of the family here. You may not know me, but I am a human as always. I am never an alien or a robot, but a human (: .

I learned to be stronger when I first join the One Love community. There are many bloggers in this one love blog, inspire me in many ways. Based on how bloggers share their stories and their daily life here. And celebrities that blog here, share the lastest updates on the themselves/band.

However, not only that, whenever bloggers have some problems in their life, they share and we help one another. And that's no wonder a quote exist, "If you need an ear to lend or shoulder to cry on, count on me" . Very true. 

Without the One Love blog , We wouldn't exist as like how we are now. We are one big family as always! :D

Have you ever wonder that this year, there are many challenges that are yet to face?

More like difficulities. I didn't know that the year 2009 could be really a tough year. I am a diference person, I hate facing challenges in life, as in when it comes to situation that's tough enough to handle. It's like a punishment. But then again, that's what we have to face in our daily life.

And have you ever realize that last year weren't like now? It's going to be the end of June. However, eventually when the economy went bad this year, everything turn inside down. There are more bad people out there than ever. Have you ever notice? In newspapers, there are more bad news than good news. There is always about crime of death, murder, kidnap and so it goes. Don't you think that life's unfair?

Talk terms about the latest disease that's now spreading around known as H1N1 (virus). That's the latest disease so far. I mean, why does this world have to be extremely cruel? And what's the next disease? or new disease that's gonna be in the future? Before was bird flu and now is H1N1. What's next? Don't you think that this world being unfair? How can we survive?

Talk terms about economy. Many shops are closing down. The example, Starbucks. The bussiness went down and tends to work extra time to have a living on their own? Price increases, including food, clothes, insurance, income tax, etc. Can't life just give us a break? Is God giving us a test?

And abusing and kidnapping.
Now, that's way too much.
Many kids are sexual abuse and kidnapped by evil people.
Seriously, WHY ON EARTH do they want to do this?
Why would they waste their time abusing?
Do they know that time is very precious?
And kidnapping,
why would they want to kidnap a child/teen?
And kill them in the end.
It's not like when they kill them, they get the fortune but creating more problems for themselves.
It's wasting time and their effort.
They can save their energy to find a job or do something productive.

No point going around to every places, being the bad people and throw out more problems?

And certainly, I bet many people out there would want to live in a better world, and a better place.
But they are not doing their part.
Newspapers has its news and update.
They will never be a good news in the front page or in the newspaper section.
Never be.
Unless if the front page is the good news, the bad news has to be on the news and the paper.

Where are the good news? Have the bad news chase all away the good news?

Rest in peace, Michael Jackson.You will always be remembered as the "King of Pop" and the "King of Music". Died at the age of 50, because he had a heart attack.

This is really sad. At first, I didn't believe he passed away and thought that it was rumours. But in the end, the moment of truth, it was true that he did, in the end. And I bet it was hard to accept the fate especially the fans out there. Like my friend from when she was young till now, she is obsess with Michael Jackson, and will never give up anything to do for him.

Whenever she is sad, what could brighten up her day? She would turn on her computer and to see Michael Jackson's face , or full of poster of Michael Jackson in her room. She would do anything for MJ. However, she would never get tired of singing MJ's song, and what inspire her? Michael Jackson. Many people looked down on her because she's a huge fan of MJ but she is proud to be his fan and tends to chase away all the bad comment that she recieve and the people who bad-mouthed about MJ. To make the story short, her lfe is partly all about MJ. I felt bad after she heard the sad news, happened to be on the newspapers and news online, she cried the whole day in school. Nothing could make her better but she wrote a letter to MJ and she would continue to support him eventhough he is no longer here but always keep him in her heart.

And it was really shocking that Michael Jackson passed away. I couldn't believe it too. As we know that life isn't that easy. We face the challenges. We'd have to complete the mission of life.

Last but not least, Rest In Peace, Michael Jackson. May your soul be blessed by God. (:

Sorry Sorry , I am so extremely sorry for not updating my blog for a long time (?)

It had been a while since I have not been updating in The One Love blog due to the exams/busy-ness for the preparation for the end year exam , called (PMR) . It's like a big exams for form 3's in Malaysia thou.

I had been really stress up and wish that I could find time to feel and breathe the fresh air. I need a break.

However , I will try my very best to update more. :) .

Have a good day , TOL bloggers! :D

Hello Everybody! =]

I'm back! :) And I apologize for not been updating for a long time as I was busy with my studies so as doing my trial job as a DJ in HabboSoup .

Before that, do visit or tune in to this website ; www.habbosoup.net

It's like a radio but it's an online radio. :D

Anyway, How are you all people today ? I hope you are all well . :)

And I am currently dying to watch this movie , Marley and Me

:]

I had watched this movie 2 days ago, The movie's very unique.  ; it has many meaning behind the story. Benjamin Button was born under unusual circumstances. He born when he was old and died when he was a baby.

"The Curious Case of Benjamin Button is a time traveler's tale of the people and places he bumps into along the way, the love he loses and finds, the joy of life and the sadness of death and what last beyond time"

You should watch it! :D If you have watch it, let me know your review. ;D 

I'm back to blog! :D Seriously, I waited for the whole exam week to finish and I'm finally free! (Well, for temporary). But I'm glad to blog back again. However, for the past few weeks, I had been really busy for preparing the exams. And yes, it happened to be on my exam day itself, I didn't expected that the exams was hard especially History. I'll just have to wait for the results (The fear) and I'm praying hard that I could do well in add the subjects (Knowing that's impossible) ;D

Jason Mraz is coming down to Malaysia. I'm dying to go but unfortunately, I'm broke and I couldn't even afford to go for the cheap ticket. Forget about the complaining about the ticket, for those who are currently in Malaysia, Are you going to watch the Mraz ? :P

 I can't seems to load the picture here. :( It keep on giving me a error. Will try uploading soon =D

<3

It had been a while I have not updated my blog in TOL. For the part few days and months, I was very busy, really busy until I dont even have the time for myself to take a deep breath. Since my exams are around the corner meaning which is this coming Monday, it's already my first examination day. Wow, I didnt know time flies just like a wind blows the leaves from its tree.

Speaking of exams, this coming Tuesday, I will be 15 years old (I seriously cant believe that I'm getting older day by day) and it happens to be on the exam day itself. Looks like the test papers will be my present for now.

Last and not least, valentines day is today! (in malaysia, now it's 12.06am over here). I'm sure that some of you may have found your valentines partner and some of you are still searching for one.

I wish you all bloggers in TOL Happy Valentines day and all the best to those who's searching for one. Make miracles come true and hope it would be a great celebration this year . :)

Thank you for taking your time, reading this post. I hope you will have a good day.

Will update more.

<3; katrina.

I'm sorry for not updating for a long time because I had been so busy for the whole month! Well, this is my time to update.

Today is the last day of 2008 (well, it's actually the 2nd day of new year but oh well.) Before starting a new year, I want to list down about this year, something that happen this year, something good or bad happens and so on.

The Month of January; was the year I had been separate my friends in different classes. And I still remember I was looking forward to school. And yes, since my sister started working in Genting, I had been going up to Genting almost the whole weekend till May 08.

The Month of February; was the year I had my 14th birthday. Well, it didnt went on good. Eventhough it didnt went on good, the best part was I gotten all wet on the very next day (Birthday Bash after school) :) And I was offered to take part of the cheerleading for Sports day but in the end, I denied it because we have to practice every steps in one day! Just imagine that.

The Month of March; I applied to be a librarian tryouts and I still remembered how scared I was when they interview me (To tell you the truth, they are scary!) And they asked many questions and I was as timid as a mouse at that time. After a while, the results came out, out of 90 over student applied for librarian and I got choosen. And yes, I was kind of shocked. :) Not to forget, we had Sport days 2008! :D But unfortunately, My house colour team didn't win and it was the last place.  

The Month of April; I remember I started my duty as a probate and many meetings I have to attend. And the fun part is, we had a treasure hunt or something (Theme is Harry Potter) and I had fun

The Month Of May; while reading my favorite part of the newspaper, I found a contest that was organized by Genting that they are giving away 30 tickets to The Click Five concert. I decided to try my luck and have to answer a question and fill up the slogan. I still remember the question was "What's the name of the lead singer?" and the slogan was "Genting Highlands is a City of Entertainment because...". Okay, I have to admit it, the slogan part, I just write what comes to my head and I just write it and send it via email.

The Month Of June; I receieved a call from Genting that I won 2 tickets to see the click five LIVE in Genting and I invited my sister to come along since she worked in Genting up to May and it was much easier for us and other than that, my sister was the only one who can come with me to the concert in Genting. Many dramas happen, Genting bus broke down on the highway and we waited for the next bus to come. We waited so long and finally, the bus came and we straight away went up to the cable car, rushing up and down and it was 30 minutes before the show starts and finally, I found the ticket section that says "Winners Section (Star Newspaper)".

The Month Of July; was the day I found out about the MTV Asia Awards and I took part in many competition to win the tickets but unfortunately, my luck was bad at that time. Out of 6 competition I took part, I didn't win any. But looking at the brightside, in the end I forget about it after 2 weeks and move on. And I had a librarian camp for 2 days, 1 night. I had fun still and gain many experience too (especially on heights). ;)

The Month of August; My school was having a carnival day and I was accepted to be a librarian. That was the best thing that happened to me. And it was the month I gotten my first hamster, Catie. Late birthday present given by one of my good friend, Alina.

The Month of September; I took part on this Camp Rock Malaysia and found out about it from a radio station and I decided to try my luck again. There are two categories, Sing on Air and Online. Well, I wanted to try to sing on Air but unfortunately, I couldn't get them by calling them since it's always busy due to a number of people who wanted to take part so in the end, I took part in online.

The Month of October; I won a pair of ticket to Camp Rock Malaysia. 50 talented people was choosen and I have to admit it, I am not talented! :P But the camp was really fun and I had gain lots of experience too. My late hamster, Catie died and gotten two hamsters the very next day. 

The Month Of November; I went to Melaka for a night to see my relatives who lives in Melaka (dad side). And yes, one of my hamster died because its head got eaten by another hamster.

The Month Of December; My another hamster died (killed itself, I think?), And then, I went to Penang for a holiday as well, stayed there one night but it's a very inspiration trip ever! And I dont recall this as a best trip but I am glad that God answered my prayers. :) And I gotten 2 winter white hamsters! And I become an HC (Habbo Club) in Habbo Malaysia. (that was on the 31st!)

 Oh well, my 2008 ups and downs but I am glad that I had fun and whatever it is, I still have to love the year 2008. Goodbye 2008 and Hello to 2009.

Happy New Year, everybody! :) Hope it would be a good year for you all! :D

The day before the day I was leaving for Penang, my hamster died at night at 11pm. I didn't cry on that night because it's better to be strong and move on. I'm sad that my hamster's died but in the other hand, I am happy that its now in a better place for animals. Oh well, Rest in peace, Natasha the hamster.

2 days ago, I was in Penang, my sister and I took a bus to Penang. It was a long journey, it took me about 5 hours to reach Penang. For the whole journey, I was talking to my sister. It had been a long time we have not talked for 5 months nor see each other too. I missed the times we always talked for the whole night but I'm glad after the whole 5 months, I finally get to see her in my two eyes.

5 hours later, we reached to Penang and the first thing I saw was the Penang bridge. I was shock that the water is very clean compare to the last time I visited Penang that was 5 years ago. I admire the view of the bridge with clean water and the boat, the mountains and everything! Penang changed alot. It has more projects and great buildings and nice beaches. :D

And then, we reached to the bus station and we were waiting for my mum and my aunt to come and they somehow couldn't recognize us. But they can recognize my sister, not me. I didnt know I change alot? But it's great to see my mum after 5 years too. I have not seen her for 5 years too and from my point of view, she change alot compare to last time. I was kinda shock. She used to be the person who was the opposite like now. Now, she does not lose her temper and does not take bad habits. God answered our prayers that she changed to be a better human and a better person.

Me, sis and my mum had a long talk, Mother-to-daughter talk. It had been a long time we have not had a mother-to-daughter talk for years! Yes, we even share many things, our experience without a mother's love, that's how it affected us. And soon, my mum's gonna buy a computer so we can chat and webcam each other instead of calling and sms-ing when it happens to be we are in a differnt country. My mum lives in Australia and I live in Malaysia. So, it's hard to call her at times so we decided to webcam and message each other via email and messenger.

And my mum shared with us, her whole life working in a Hotel in Australia (5 star hotel) and her life there was not easy. Her whole life is about working, after working in a hotel, she moves on working in a restuarant. But looking at the bright side, she saw many celebrities stayed in the hotel where she is working now. She works at the VIP section too. My mum is lucky because she recently saw Rihanna and Chris Brown in front of her two eyes! And she saw The Click Five when they tour Australia, May, this year. Beacuse she remember she saw a guy that looks like Ethan Mentzer in the hotel together with the 4 guys.

2 days ago, that night we went for a family reunion. It's  great to get back together again with cousins, relative and my mum. Missed those days. The last time we had a family reunion in Penang was 5 years back. Am glad that we came on the right time too.

And yesterday, we went around penang, First, we went to Batu Ferrighi (We pass by our old condominium we used to lived there), it brings back the memories. It's now painted and much more unique compare to the last time it was plain white condominium. You have no idea how much I missed that place! My mum decided to let us (me and my sister) walked in the condominium to look around for the last time. Wow, I didnt know many people who works there remembered my mum! Everything changes and it looks more unique and nicier inside. Oh well, I have to let go for the last time before selling the condominium to other people who wants to buy it.

Oh well, so long, Sri Sayang, the condominium in Batu Ferrighi, Penang. If you have a chance to go to Batu ferrighi, the first thing you will see is the condiminium that I stayed before.

I admire the view of the beach. :) Air-breathing. And they opened new shopping malls, houses, condominiums and buildings.

........

After that, we left Penang for a bus back to KL. 8pm. And reached back to KL at 1am in the morning, today. And then, stayed up to talked with my sister up to 3am. And then, my sister went back to Seremban 3 hours ago.

That's how my trip goes on. Overall, it was a good trip and I missed my mum.

I'm going to Penang tomorrow! I can't wait to see the Penang Bridge! :) It had been a long time I had not been there; about 4 years ago.

I love the view of The Beach. :) Oh well, in pictures, it may not look that nice but if you go there to Penang, the beach in Batu Ferringhi is really nice. :) Someday, I wanna try parachuting! :)

Yes! This is what I am talking about! :) It looks fun. Good thing that I am not fear of heights. :) Now I understand why's Penang's the meaning of "Pearl of the Orient". :)

Tomorrow's a big day. So many recommended places for me to go in Penang?

In happy moments, praise God,

In sad moments, believe in God,

In difficult moments, seek God,

In quiet moments, worship God,

In painful moments, trust God,

In angry moment, remember God,

For every moment, thank God.

Today's my art competition. It did not went well at all. The topic of the "on the spot" drawing was "How would the world be in the year 2700?" Man, it was tough and I had to crack my brains to think. It takes me 3 hours to finished the drawing and the painting. It's nothing about Wall.E and I wasted my time practicing drawing Wall.E. Because normally for this art competition, every theme has a qualify challege. Example the theme is Ratatouille (Yes, that was the theme for last year's competition) and on the spot competition, it require to draw the rat and Gusteau's son in the kitchen but as for wall.e, the qualify challege require us to draw a gift for Wall.E to soften Eve's heart and the "on the spot competition", it came out with a different topic.

Anyway, Some of you may ask me how was the competition and did I bring a prize back home, well, it's kinda hard for me to explain it for the time being but I think this describe it all.

"My hopes and dreams are now vanished into little pieces"

Art is mainly the part of my life and couldn't live without it.

I will never give up, never.

I am addicted to this game right now, Habbo. :) It's like a virtual world and it's fun too. I'm playing that game with my friend, Khalidah. :) I seems to enjoy that game up till now especially irratating people in habbo and ended up kicked out by the owner. x)

Here's some picture of Habbo Hotel. x)

                                     -**-

Anyway, I just watched Twilight in Times Square. Well, I find that movie awesome (from my review) eventhough they cut many scenes.

And not to forget, tomorrow's my Art competition at The One Academy College. I'm feeling a lil bit nevous right now. I overheard my dad talked to the girl who's incharge of the competition that I'm the only 14 years old and the rest are like form 4-6 (16 years old-18 years old). Looks like I am the only youngster there.

Wish me luck tomorrow and have a good day. :)

Watch this! It's hilarious! :D

?

The Loser VS The Winner.

The winner is a the part of the answer, 

A loser is a part of the problem.

The winner always has a plan. 

A loser always have a excuse.

The winner says "Let me do it for you." 

The loser say "That is not my job".

The winner sees an answer in every problem.

The loser sees a problem in every answer.

The winner sees a green near every sandtrap. 

The loser see a sandtrap near every green.

The winner says "It may be difficult but is possible". 

The loser says "It might be possible but it's difficult"

Be a winner.

This poetry made by my friend, Natasha. She make this all up and I would like to promote it in TOL. :)

It had been a while I have not updated my blog here at the TOL. But I have been really busy nowadays, even during the holidays. I have been practising drawing Wall.E for the last 2 days and I am still not sactify with it. I recently recieved a letter from one of the college, "The One Academy, Communication Of Designs", stated that I managed to get into "on the spot competition". The theme has to be Wall.E. And now, I have to practice drawing Wall.E and Eve because the last "Qualifying Challege" was about drawing a ultimate gift for Eve. And on the spot competition, it might be about Wall.E again. Some of you may not know that movie, Wall.E but here it is:-

Yes, it's a robot! And I am not good at drawing robots!

Here's two of my drawings for the last 2 days till now! (The rest of my drawings are too funny or ugly looking to be shown here.) Oh well, I have to admit it I am not very good at drawing.

I am not good at drawing right? Feel free to drop a comment about it. =P

I don't even know where to start. But I'm trying my best to explaining it. It all begin like this.

After Catie (my hamster) died, on the very next day itself, I've got 2 new hamsters, one male and one female. They are kinda small but it's something related to Catie (their species). Their names are Natasha and Nicholas. I admire them and forgotten about Catie's death. But that's just too bad, they bite and its not easy to take care of them especially Natasha. Nicholas is always one of my favorite, he doesn't bite that much, that's the best part. :)

I have been taking care of them for 3 weeks from now. But unfortunately, this HAVE to happen. Apparently, Nicholas passed away last night (11 November 2008, 10.30pm). Natasha ate Nicholas' head and it left his lifeless body, covered with blood, lying the other side on the cage. I don't like the way how Nicholas died. But how can Natasha do this? Nicholas was her only friend and how can Natasha ate Nicholas' head eventhough they are the same size? I got freaked out yesterday.

Oh well, RIP, Nicholas. Too bad, I don't even have a picture of him. I didn't know this will happen.  

Sometimes, I wish that I do not exist in the world. So many problems, so many pain. But thanks to my mum whom is now in Australia, she just created more problems for me and my dad's family. I'm not blaming my mum but she's reaching to the higher top of the standard of creating troubles. I had a talk with my Godma yesterday and I have to agree with my Godma for what she said that it's also partly my fault disturbing other people's family. I have to even get involved in all this problems too. Next month, my mum's coming down to Malaysia for a holiday and she's going to create more trouble by coming to the place where I am staying now (dad's family) and who will be blame for all this? It will be me because I'm related to her and I'm her daughter. I'm trying my best to not let it affect my studies or whatsoever but it already spoilt my whole mood. I hate to face it but it looks like I have to. I'm feeling very miserable now.

I can't believe why do all this has to happen? All this won't happen if my dad never met my mum before. But it did. In the end. It had been almost 8 years, I continue having faith in God by praying. I tried to be happy for not letting this affects me, I tried my best to act like nothing happen. The court case is still going on and it has been pospond for years. I'm not looking forward for next month. I need God desperately. Dear God, where are you?

Why cant you just accept the fact that I'm not perfect? NOBODY, I mean NOBODY in this world is perfect except God. If you think you are, beat it then.

Many people expect me to be smart, especially in exams, getting 100% in all subject which is IMPOSSIBLE. Many pair of hands, but that's just too bad, God created me and given me a pair of hands, not more than that. Expect me not to SIN. Expect me to know what will happen in the future and other people's feelings is definitely a big NO! I'm just a plain human being and I'm NOT perfect. SO WHAT I can't speak Mandarin eventhough I'm Chinese? Many people make fun of me ESPECIALLY chinese people because I couldn't speak Mandarin. Do I look like I have the time to learn? I had been very busy nowadays and expect me to do all things in ONE. At the same time. Sigh. Think about it, No one is perfect. As I said, if you think you are, you're definitely not human anymore. 

Here comes the one love, I just share something. Do you have something to share? After all, Sharing is caring. :)

21st of August 2008 is the day I should not forget,

A day a hamster which is mixed brown, black and white hamster was bought by my friend.

My friend told me the good news that she bought a hamster for me for my late birthday present that night.

And that's the day I should never forget.

26th of August 2008 was the day I had gotten my hamster after school in a heavy rain,

A beautiful, adorable hamster that was made by God.

My friend, Lim Pei Ying and I was thinking a name for my hamster,

It was hard for us to think a name for my hamster because she's a female hamster,

And right after thinking, my friend had gotten a name that suits my hamster,

Catie is the name of my hamster. It's exactly the same meaning fo my name and that was day, Catie was born and become my new family member as well as my new friend.

I was in love with her, taking pictures, played with her and loving her,

The best part is I taught her to take food from my hand,

Many good memories I cherished spending time with Catie,

And I will never forget.

28 August 2008,

I let her out from the cage to give her some fresh air,

Until then,

I realized she went missing and I search for her everywhere.

I was very worried and finally after wasting my time finding for her upstairs,

I found her downstairs running around the house,

Happily running around just like a bird who has its own freedom,

My worries went away and I smiled in the end.

Time passes by fast each day,

Had been feeding her and introduced her some new food like papaya, green salad,

And she had been climbing on my hand when I played with her,

We had this challege a few times,

She tried to bite me but in the end, she won and my finger was bleeding like anything.

I tried to be paitient with her each day,

I scold her sometimes when she gets on my nerve,

And I still remember her bitting the side of the small cage until the side of the cage's holder was broken,

She's a type of hamster that's very hyper and active.

Every week, I wash the cage and change the bedding,

I bath her and I still remember she tried escaping from it.

25th October 2008,

I was playing with her,

and she bite me really hard all the sudden,

And my finger hurts and it was bleeding,

I had not idea why she bite me for.

When I watch her sleeping in the cage,

I had this very strong feelings that the cage will be empty and I started to sing the song "Empty" by The Click Five,

I have no idea why do I have this feeling at that time but in the end,

I didn't believe and I kept on telling it to myself it will not happen. But I guess I am stupid enough to think about it.

4.00pm, 25th October 2008,

I introduce Catie to my friends,

And she was very hyper at that time,

It shows that Catie was happy to see my friends,

Jumping around the cage happily and I smiled when I watched her jumping

6.30pm, 25th October 2008,

She became scared and I have no idea why she was,

She was scared because of the crowd of people and the loud noise. Most of all, the screaming from the small kids.

I confort her and she climb on my hand while smelling,

I told her not to be scared and I kept her somewhere that is a quiet place for her to rest and keeping away from the crowd.

7.45pm, 25th October 2008,

She became very scared,

She looked like she was half dead, half alive,

I decided to called my friend who experience hamsters and now, keeping a guinea pig,

And then, me and my friend tried to make her looked alive,

Conforting her,

And too bad, the whole bunch of kids when upstairs to check  on Catie, giving her a stare and that makes Catie scared,

So, I decided to bring her outside of the room together with my two friends,

I knew that Catie's going to die soon,

The look on her face, trying hard to breathe, gasping for air,

And she looks really thin and weak.

And that makes my heart break into million pieces,

And it was the bad timing because usually at night, the tree will take the oxygen,

And there was no hope for Catie,

We tried giving her what she wanted,

But it failed.

8.20pm, 25th October 2008.

I rush to the toilet with her trying hard to make her breathe,

Calling her name while controling my tears,

I asked Catie to be strong.

I know Catie tried her best,

My two friends came in to the toilet,

And that was the time I couldn't hold back my tear anymore,

She was dead and no longer breathing anymore,

Catie was lying down on my hand,

And I looked at her lifeless body,

I tried to smile but I failed,

One of my friend told me to cry to let it out so I wouldn't feel sad,

And I did cried while holding Catie's lifeless body.

It's like, 3/4 of my soul is gone.

And my friend conforted me,

And my another friend cried with me

I was blessed to have this kind of friends.

And I thank god for having these kind of friends.

I pray for Catie's soul will be blessed

And my friend pray for Catie too.

It reminded me of the good times I had with her.

After the party,

I went home,

carried her lifeless body in the cage, covered her for one night.

I cried myself to sleep and woke up  really early on the very next day.

26th August 2008.

At 10.15pm,

Her body was buried somewhere near my house.

And I pray for her to be happy where she is right now,

She's now in a better place,

But I still miss her terribly.

Wishing her to come back,

I miss our long talks,

The memories flows back in my head.

It had been 2 months I kept Catie.

But then again, I heard a voice in my head saying,

"The reason I bite on your finger yesterday morning is to remember me and I knew I was going to die. Thank you for taking care of me."

Could it be Catie saying this to me?

And right now,

The cage is empty and it happens in the end.

Rest In Peace, Catie. You will be forever be missed.

Lastly, I wuld like to thank my two friends, Shivani fro being there with me yesterday and understanding my feelings and Lim Pei Ying for crying with me and understanding my feelings. And not to forget, Natasha, the birthday girl yesterday for making me laugh.

<3

Today is my unlucky day. This morning, I broke a glass in my bathroom (The holder) and it's just because of the shampoo that was really heavy, I put on top of it where all the toiletries are, the whole thing fell down on the ground including the glass holder and it eventually scared me and it broke in many/thousands of pieces and I cut both pair of my hands and now, I am having 3 long scars, 1 below in each finger and one in the middle of my right hand and it's very painful. :( I wasted my time picking up the glass and I am praying very hard that not a single glass went through my finger/skin/etc. 

Today, I was having Arts and Moral. I couldn't write properly due to the glass that left a scar both of my hand. And it is still very painful and it's still bleeding. Gah, I don't want to talk about today. It screw-up my day. What I had learnt from one of the boys like girls song, "Great Escape" lyrics "Throw It Away, Forget Yesterday" and I should follow it.

Moving on, this afternoon, My friend and I had leant from our mistakes and lesson. Never Ever Call The Monkeys and Give Them Even A Tiny Biscuit! It all happened like this, my friend called the monkey as we were in the park and she decided to give it a try whether the monkeys would come. Okay, she's good on calling monkeys and come to our surprise, the whole bunch of monkeys (I think it brought its family members too) came to the park and some of them became wild and we got scared. The monkeys were keeping an eye on my biscuit that I was holding and I got scared and decided to give them a little bit of the biscuit so they wouldn't bother/disturb us and apparently, it was just a little bit of biscuit I given to them and then, there was this big, huge monkey kept on following us and we ran and they were chasing us too. But thank god, the big monkey got lost. In the end, the big monkey invite its family members to go to rubbish bin to find for food. And there was some small monkeys playing on the swing and the slide (The playground). They look really cute playing in the playground but that's just too bad, we don't have our camera to capture their picture! *we weren't allowed to bring cameras to school*.

My area (where I am staying now) has lots of monkeys. As usual, the monkeys will be doing their business.

Meet My Hamster, Catie. I have been keeping her almost 2 months. I got her on the 26th of August 2008, given by my friend for my "late birthday present". LOL!

And yes, this is the hamster I'm talking about! The one that get me on my nerve but hey, she's cute right? :) Browish mix with white and black.

This is the best picture of her compare to the rest of the pictures I taken. It was really hard to take a picture of her.  

Someday, I want to get a guinea pig! Check out my friend's guinea pig:-

This is Walnut, it's a boy! It doesn't bite and he's a very good and not to forget, a really cute guinea pig. Agree? :)

This is Donut, it's a girl by the way. But she bites! So, it's hard for my friend to carry her since she bites. But still, she's a cute guinea pig right?

But what's the difference anyway? Hamsters and Guinea Pigs are consider the same type right? But not for the size. I guess?

I deleted my last post. I would like to thank Cui Ying, Sylvia, Winnie, Pei Wu, Krystal and May and the rest of The One Love community for their concern over about my last post. You guys are the best as ever! :) I never felt so loved before over this and thanks to you guys, you have brighten my day! <3

Anyway, in case you don't know where I was..

Yeah. I was in Camp Rock almost the whole day, yesterday. It was quite tiring but at least I had fun. It's hard to make friends over there, too many difficult people but at least I make a few friends, Amanda, Brigita, Angela (seriously, she looks like Sylvia!), Heaven, Riahanna and a few more. We learnt many things over there, how to sing, dance, showmanship, song writing and I was force to take part in every competition. =\ I will list down the itinerary/what we do the whole day:-

1. I was quite nervous and we got lost because Bukit Jalil has many Astro buildings and my dad got confused and called up the person who is incharge of the camp for directions.

2. And then, we reached to that place and I was so nervous because I was afaird I've got no friends over there and then, I gave the ticket + the letter to Astro and I went inside the office and collected my name tag, file, breakfast, lyrics, itinerary.

3. And then, I made a friend, Amanda. The bus was already outside but we waited for a long time until we could get in to the bus. (They even played the Camp Rock Soundtrack in the bus and they turned on the volume really loud)

4. We played games in the bus but unfotunately, we managed to play only 1 game which is CAMP and ROCK (We have to give the meaning of each capital word)

5.  Arrive at Camp Rock Living the Dream Venue at KL Pac (Performing Arts Centre) at Sentul Park, KL.

6. They seriously treated us like a celebrity. Even when we came down from the bus, they took a picture of each one of us.

7. We have to followed the crews and then, we had to go up the staircase which was REALLY HIGH. and I almost fell down to the ground.

8. Once, we reached to the highest floor, I spotted Ean and Natalie (They're from a Radio Station - Hitz.FM) And some crews.

9. We went in to the room which was really nice, there was a stage there and it's like a "camping style".

10. Introduction/making friends session (Hard for me to make friends over there, they are so difficult people! =[ ) But I managed to make a few friends over there.

11. Moving on, we had Song Writing 101 - Write What You Think. We had celebrity Interaction with JD and Uno From Pop Shuvit (A famous band in Malaysia especially in Japan), Audi Mok and Nor Fatimah (Famous Song Writer in Malaysia) and we leant the technique behind song writing.

12. Singing 101- Voice Showcase! We have to sing "This is Me" by Demi Lovato. Celebrity Interaction With Suki (She's the one in a million winner and she sang the malay version in camp rock!) And then, Expert Interaction with Maziah, Learnt sining technique and vocal exercises from Maziah.

13. We had Lunch! :) The food was nice. :) But unfortunately, I wasn't hungry on that day and didn't eat much.

14. Showmanship 101- Show Us What you Got. We had Celebrity Interaction with Moots from pop Shuvit. Expert Interaction with Linda Jasmine (She's quite a famous dancer in Malaysia), And we perform on "We Rock" song too. (Hey, Luckily they didn't pick me! They actually asked everyone to do it and they thought that I did it but actually I didn't! :P )

15. Dancing 101 - Put Your Dancing Shoes On. Celebrity Interaction with Alam (I think he is the winner for the show "So You Think You Can Dance") and then, Expert Interaction with Linda Jasmine and Dance Practice session by Linda Jasmine and we perform on "Hasta La Vista" song and I'm still praying hard it wouldn't be showing on Disney Channel as I overheard they will! :S

16. We had tea Break. Nice food too. :D But too bad, I wasn't hungry on that day itself too. And we got free stuff! Free Bag, T-shirt, Notebook shaped of A Guitar and a Certificate printed my name with Celebrity's signature. 

17. Said Goodbye to the hitz.fm, the crews, celebrities. Depart KLPac, in the bus, we played games on the way back to Bukit Jalil.

- That's just too bad, the camera was not with me. That's why I couldn't take pictures. :( - But I have a few here and if there's more, I will add it up here. :)

That's Suki in White and the rest are the crews.

That's the stage.

Group Picture.

Let's talk about MUSIC! :D

I'm currently listening to one of Clay Aiken's songs, "On my way here". Seriously, I love that song and I keep on playing it over and over again! Check out his songs! His songs are super'd! :)

And I am also into Leona Lewis' songs too! I still love one of her songs, "Better In Time". Do check out one of her new song, "Forgive Me"

How about Tokio Hotel? I like one of their new songs too, "Running Through The Monsoon".

How about Marey Carey? I like most of her songs, old and new songs. And I'm currently love one of her songs "I've been lovin' you a long time". :)

How about Chris Daughtry? I love most of his songs! I can name it here, "Feels Like Tonight, What About Now, Home, It's Not Over and Over You." Eventhough he didn't win American Idol, he became a sucessful man, a vocal of his very own band and now, he's famous.

How about The Click Five? Man, I can tell you how much I love their songs, Old and new, I still love it. I am looking forward for their new album.

How about Simple Plan? I love one of their song, "Your Love is A Lie". Do you? :)

Let's go on to movies. Yeah, let's talk about MOVIES :)

Kung Fu Panda, I love that movie! :D Hillarious!

Then, how about Harry Potter? I love the movie! And I am looking forward for the 6th Movie.

What do you think of High School Musical? For me, the show is not bad but it's kinda annoying when it comes to some parts of the story. I am looking forward for the 3rd movie. I bet it would be better than the 1st movie. :P

Camp Rock? i am dying to watch that show! I have not watch it yet.

Penelope? Enchanted? Fairy tales movie.

Final Destination 1,2 and 3? Scary. :O

The Notebook? I have not watch it yet.

Made of Honour, Nice Movie.

How about you? What is/are your favorite music,singer or band and movie? I want to hear it from you! :D

I'm still addicted to a movie. Here it is:-

I seriously love this movie alot. Up to now, I'm still watching it over and over again. This movie makes me laugh from the begining to the end. Yes, I am still childish.

There's no secret ingredient, really. :)

I would like to thank Cassie for setting me up on TOL blog. Without her help, I wouldn't be blogging right now in The One Love website. THANK YOU, CASSIE!  I'm honour to be a part of the family here in TOL. :)

Before I go on to another topic,  I guess a little introduction is required. My name is Katrina and I am from Malaysia. I'm a librarian - student. I'm struggling right now because my final exams are around the corner, so I better get going. Let's move on to another topic then.

Just now, I was checking my mails and there was a letter that I never expected. I was pretty shocked when I open it. 

The first sentence:-

"Congratulations! You have won yourself an exclusive pass to the camp rock"

Yes, it's a ticket to the Camp Rock Malaysia! :D

----------------------------------------

Sometimes, my hamster is such a pain. I got scolded by my godmother because of this morning, my hamster came out from the cage and I still have no idea how on earth can she reached at the top (the cage is really big) of the 2 holes which I covered 2 books, one paintbox to not let her out from the cage which is really high for her to climb out. And then, my godmother went to the kicthen and all the sudden, something was bitting on her leg and it was the hamster. My godmother got scared and she took a plastic bag and carried my hamster back to the cage and the blame goes to me.  She's too active and hyper and I have no idea what to do.

And not to forget, Happy Belated Birthday, One Love! :D

I'll update more soon. :)