Dear God, Where Are You?

Sometimes, I wish that I do not exist in the world. So many problems, so many pain. But thanks to my mum whom is now in Australia, she just created more problems for me and my dad's family. I'm not blaming my mum but she's reaching to the higher top of the standard of creating troubles. I had a talk with my Godma yesterday and I have to agree with my Godma for what she said that it's also partly my fault disturbing other people's family. I have to even get involved in all this problems too. Next month, my mum's coming down to Malaysia for a holiday and she's going to create more trouble by coming to the place where I am staying now (dad's family) and who will be blame for all this? It will be me because I'm related to her and I'm her daughter. I'm trying my best to not let it affect my studies or whatsoever but it already spoilt my whole mood. I hate to face it but it looks like I have to. I'm feeling very miserable now.

I can't believe why do all this has to happen? All this won't happen if my dad never met my mum before. But it did. In the end. It had been almost 8 years, I continue having faith in God by praying. I tried to be happy for not letting this affects me, I tried my best to act like nothing happen. The court case is still going on and it has been pospond for years. I'm not looking forward for next month. I need God desperately. Dear God, where are you?