Domestic Violins

What's going down?
Just for the record, I don't legitimately use language resembling the above salutation...it's meant to be read with somewhat of a tongue-in-cheek interpretation.  This is Chap Stique, and I'm writing you from my quiet new pad in So-Cal.  The sun is flowing through the shutters and it's 84 degrees outside...and it's January 14.  Wow. 

I always work hard to try to answer most of the questions I get on myspace/facebook/email, etc., and one of the most common ones of late is this, “Dear Chap Stique, you used to tour every day, and now it looks like Family Force 5 is touring a bit less.  What do you do during your free time?  p.s.-you have a mullet.”  As daunting a task as it is to answer the question, I thought I'd give it a whirl.

'Tis true!  FF5 is slowing down from our billion-shows-a-year schedule so that our wives will continue to love us and our friends will still remember our names.  It's a glorious thing! 

Now more than ever, I'm gaining respect for my mom and all of the random odd-jobs that she had to do when my chap-sister and I were kids.  I wake up, have breakfast, workout (so I can be a trophy husband), practice guitar, work on the FF5 myspace/facebook pages, call some fans, do some reading, and then...I become my mom!  I go to the grocery store, drop of broken things (including a lot of guitar gear) at the repair centers, go to the post office (just to hang out, really...I love it there), clean our pad, go to the bowels of hades (oh, sorry, I mean the DMV), etc.  For the most part, it's kind of fun, and instantly gratifying, but today's endeavor is quite an exception.

When I arrived home from the Dance Rawr Dance II tour, I noticed a hilarious triangular dent in my trusty vehicle (I'm not much of a car guy, so I'm cool with my old, pink Honda).  My wife told me that a lady named Sheera (some names have been changed to protect the identity of the individual) ran into her at the post office, and she gave me her info. 

I called our girl Sheera to see how we should go about fixing the car, and home-girl freaked out on me!  She immediately became defensive, and offered insanely insignificant amounts of cash to repair the car (fyi-the proper protocol would be to use insurance).  I complied, saying that I would do my best to help her by getting a lot of estimates on the repair (rather than using the most-expensive/most professional repair center).  I also arranged my schedule so my wife and I could share a car, and she wouldn't have to pay for a rental.

Upon finishing our call, I instantaneously left to get some estimates...unaware that Los Angeles traffic would consume the next 3 days of my life!  Over a span of countless hours, I went to 4 different repair centers (2 of which were run by shady 245-year olds from other planets) and received typed, professional, detailed quotations stating the repair costs. 

I called Sheera to give her the rates, and she began yelling at me, claiming that I was a scam-artist who was stating unnaturally high rates, and she threatened to take me to court.  She declined to see the documents from the companies, because she said it was a massive conspiracy.  Utterly perplexed, I asked what she proposed, and she once again offered me cash (literally 1/10th- - 1/15th of the true cost). 

Finally, I decided to call up the insurance company...so we'll see what happens!  I assume it'll be a catastrophe, but I'll be glad once it's finally done, and the old standby is back to 100%.  And I really don't want to go to court over this!  I might have to miss a show!

So, I guess I need to go call some people to get the latest update on the repair situation.  After that, I'll need to pack for our amazing Australia/New Zealand trip!  I'm super excited, and have high expectations of getting punched by a joey!  Take care, and we'll see you guys on the AP Tour, at some of our Winter Jam spot-dates, or in the land down-under. Vegemite forever!