EVERYONE HAS THEIR STORY

Everyone has their story...

It's Thanksgiving day at two in the morning and I'm sitting here awake at my computer writing my first blog for TheOneLove. 

About a week ago, I was asked to be a part of the website, and for a long time, I had been looking for a way to tell my story.  I put it off time and time again, doing a lot of thinking, hoping, and praying about it, and I knew that when the time was finally right, I would speak about it.  And, to me, the time finally feels right.

This is probably the hardest blog I have ever written, but it is important to me that I speak out and tell my story of why I decided to be a part of TheOneLove.  This is probably also the most important blog that I have ever written because it helps a cause that hits closer to home for me than any of you probably know.  If you guys are new to TheOneLove (like me), here's how it works: Each blogger has chosen one charity to support. 100% of all profits collected from traffic to our blog pages, from banner ads, will be donated to the charity of our choice...my charity being the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention.

About a year and a half ago, a good friend of mine announced publicly that he had diabetes.  It was a struggle that he had to overcome and he's said time and time again that he wouldn't let it get him down.  Now, that friend has gone on to become one of the biggest stars in the world and is living his dream everyday.  Over time, I saw his story inspire so many others, and rather than keep quiet, he used his story as a chance to reach out and help people overcome their personal struggles, and inspire others to tell their story.  I'm one of those people that he inspired, and now it's my turn to tell my story.

My mom worked a lot when I was a kid.  As a single parent, she had to.  She and my dad split up when I was really young, so when my mom was working, I would spend most of my time with my grandparents.  I would stay at their house every Friday night and they would bring me back home Saturday morning.  This became tradition for years and years, even after my mom stopped working weekends and I was old enough to drive myself everywhere.  It was just something we did.  It made sense. 

My grandparents helped make me the person I am today.  We did so much together...we would watch Boy Meets World (my favorite show) together every Friday night, go out to eat, they would take me to the arcade, take me shopping, drop me off at friends' houses...they helped me memorize my lines to the first musical I remember doing...they helped me with SO much.

A few years ago, I got a phone call saying that my grandpa had been diagnosed with lung cancer and emphysema.  At first, I knew it was bad, but I brushed it off.  I mean, it couldn't happen to me, could it?  MY GRANDPA?  He couldn't have cancer...he was MY grandpa.  That happened to other people, but not me.  But it did, and he ended up getting REALLY sick.  This went on for almost two years.  It was the worst thing in the world seeing how much pain he was in.  Every Friday that I went over to my grandparents' house, it just got harder and harder for him, but he still held on.  He didn't let it change anything between us, and neither did my grandma. 

My grandma would usually go to the grocery once a week, always on the same day, but one week, my grandpa asked her to go and pick something up a day early.  So she did.  At the time, she didn't understand why, but she did it anyway, because she loved him.  When she came home that day from the grocery, she couldn't find my grandpa.  She later found that he couldn't deal with the pain anymore.  My grandpa had committed suicide.

During the next year, my grandma did everything possible to make Friday nights the same for me.  My grandma and my mom were two of the only reasons that I made it through the way I did.  Nearly a year later, my grandma couldn't deal with the pain of the loss of my grandpa anymore, and she too, committed suicide.  I didn't believe it.  I still don't want to. 

To this day, it is still one of the hardest things I've ever had to deal with, and for a long time, I didn't deal with it.  I clammed up, pushed a lot of people away, and kept my guard up.  Sitting here, writing this blog, it just feels like a lot of words and not much sense being made, but there isn't a day where I don't think about my grandparents, and in a lot of ways, that friend I was talking about earlier helped save me, whether he ever knows it or not.  One person speaking out about their struggle can change the world, and I've been silent too long.  It is time that we all speak out and make the world a better place.

And I'm trying...but I guess, today, Thanksgiving day, it's all hitting really hard, but today is about being thankful, and so for that reason alone, I'm thankful that I ever had those experiences with my grandparents.  I'm thankful for those memories...those Friday nights...I'm thankful for my family, and for overcoming everything and becoming a stronger person.

I never thought this would be how I would tell my story, and this is just a small part of it all.  Not every blog entry will be like this...but it was time for me to finally speak out. That is why I've chosen to support the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention as my charity here on TheOneLove.  Now you know the reason behind the blog, and the reason why I've chosen to support the charity that I've chosen. 

There's really no good way to end this, but I do want to say HAPPY THANKSGIVING.  Just remember we all have a lot to be thankful for...I love you all.

CHRIS