I was young sitting in her room

She placed her hand on my thigh and I shook inside all after noon 

counting on her ringless fingers

the days the years that her face would linger

Late in the silence of night, with only my thoughts. This can be a very productive but sometimes emotionally destructive time...
I'm somewhere far from where I began.This very day 10 years ago I was in my bedroom watching my favorite T.V. show.I didn't worry about any time I may have wasted. I thought of the future as something I couldn't wait to see. Now I fear the future. In the future I may not be who I always thought I'd be. If I met me at 15 I would tell him... hmmm... I'm realizing as I write this that I wouldn't know what to tell him. I know myself better than anyone and I know the advice I would give would roll right off that 15 year olds' shoulders. 
But if he WOULD take heed to my advice, I suppose, this a list of things I'd say:
-Don't eat so much read meat (it raises testosterone levels to an unnecessary height which could lead to health problems)
-Don't drink so much milk (in the future they stop running those "milk does a body good" ad's get into soy milk if anything, i hear it's an acquired taste, so get on that pronto!)
-Don't worry bout lifting weights (the meat-head trend will fade and that muscle will turn to fat)
-Don't start a band (yea you'll tour the country and mingle with celebrities but you will have very little time to make real friends or have a girlfriend or money and it will put a strain on your family too)
-Work harder in school (in a few years you'll love watching the History Channel and speaking with an expanded vonacular )
-Try to get into Notre Dame... or Princeton (this is an honorable dream, something your grandparents and parents would be proud of. they gave you the world the least you could give them is a few sweatshirts or a bumper sticker)
-Get more sleep (those T.V. shows late night are terrible its not like adult swim nowadays. besides the sleep will help you concentrate in school)
-Get a job (build some humility and you'd be surprised how much you could save on a part-time salary)

-Buy a pair of jeans! (what's with the Khakis?! you're not on the golf team! Plus, jeans are a sturdier material they will help conceal/restrain those unexpected raging boners you get in first period)

-Don't waste your time on Danny Gileta (the kid is bad news, you can't save him from his path in life. He will never give you any thanks nor will he show any remorse in the future for you keeping him company as a teenager)
-Use your legs more when you pitch (you got the control down but you can be throwing 5-10 mph faster if you used the strength in your legs properly. You do that and hey maybe you could pitch for Notre Dame ;oP  

Oh! and if you must play an instrument LEARN PIANO, it's sooo much cooler than guitar... -

we use to boom boom bang bang

we use to make it up as we went along

now were sitting here like we dont belong

theres a light on down the hall

we use to spend time there

we use to call your friends up on a friday night

but now 

i just cant shake it won't you take me home im better off alone

You just can't fake it this is what you've made it

we use to boom boom bang bang

as if there's no tomorrow 

we use to boom boom bang bang

you could hear us coming like an old mustang

we use to boom boom bang bang

we use to shake our heads and clap our hands

we use to boom boom bang bang

and if there was something you liked we'd do it again

and if you wanna mess with us then you've gotta catch up

because we use to boom boom bang bang

caught up in the tide of what use to be

I'd swim to shore but you are my sea

and if forever should I drift off into the blue

I'd hardly frown if I drowned surrounded by you

the closer i get to achieving my dreams and accomplishing my goals the further i get from the people who have been in my life since childhood.  I'm busy doin this; doin that; and when there is time to cut loose I spend it with new friends or my peers in the entertainment industry, sharing our current experiences and struggles to become successful.  "I worked with so and so"  "oh so did I , isnt he/she great?" ya know that sorta thing?

The trade off is something I have been willing to do. Sacrifices must be made now to reap and benefits later. I am a firm believer in that.  But every now and then I get to turn on the TV and I get into a 30 min show and remember what is was like to have "my show."  That one show would be the center piece of a particular weeknight and I would make sure to catch every episode. I would feel so off the rest of the week if I had missed an episode. Those stupid little things are things that people take for granted.  Everyone thinks there town or their family or the life is boring, but what's boring to you may be an escape for someone else. The secret I found is to live in every moment, moments can last for just a few seconds or a few years.  As long as your giving your life 100% attention and dedication then you will always be pleased and content with where you are and where that takes you... well ya never know.

P.S. so many tangents, incomplete sentences and thoughts, but catharsis isn't supposed to be structured or even coherent. it's just supposed to feel good. lol

Things always seem so much more beautiful in reflection.   We can appreciate something while we have it or are experiencing it but we don't really feel its impact until it's only there in memories.  It shapes the boundaries of who we are.  How sentimental you are does carry some weight on how these past experiences will weigh on your character.   But a vivid enough happy memory could make even the most steadfast of skeptics long for the past.   Time is relentless, it controls everything.  It is a stern, yet, compassionate ruler.  Although, it moves at an unforgiving and unchangeable pace it does provide us visions and scents of who and where we once were.  Would you rather not be able to tap into memories? You would be void of any recollection of the past.  I think the memories humble us and help guide us to appreciating who and where we are now.  They teach us lessons by lingering by our side.  They remind us they are there in the form of passing scents or a quick inaccurate glance of a familiar face in the distance.  In theory, when you break it down to a philosophical thing memories and the past are all in the present.  If you can think it, then it exists.  Now that notion has to transcend any school of thought, it sounds just as factual as 2+2 to me.

So I am beginning to record a cover song from a huge pop icon.  The song will include vocals and performances from some of my friends in popular bands.  I'm teaming up with a non-profit organization, releasing the song on itunes and all the proceeds will go to a specific charity.   It's goin to be nuts! I am way stoked about this idea and it's going to be a fun but drawn-out process.   I know all this is so vague but I don't want to look like the boy who cried wolf; if i drop a few names and they don't end up on the project then it would be a bad look.   You heard it here first!

-Denis

I love the vibe and message of this blogging community.  There are so many text options and such (that's a plus as well!).  Hopefully I can conjure up some interesting content.  I'll most likely be using this blog for meandering thoughts and mildly entertaining epiphanies. 

-Denis