[currently listening to club 8 and the likes - because it's the only pick-me-upper music that will not make me cry]

just when you thought everything is going okay, going right, some bad hair days here and there but very minor, but still enough to get you through the day, sleep and wake up to a new one...
just when you're starting to give up small things to wish for something bigger...
just when you're waiting faithfully and praying that no big disaster will happen...

technology would stop in the middle of your task and would not return to its normal state again, just sleep over it, try to calm down, don't panic, forget about it for a day. and when you tried to revive it, a heartbreaking news would make the perfect "U" shape on your face turn into a heavy frown, all hopes lost, love crushed and you're left with just "i should have done this and that" but you couldn't anymore because the past is past

my laptop hard disk finally gave up on me...

goodbye to my college papers
goodbye to my random ideas saved in notepad
goodbye to whatever important documents were in there
but more importantly...
goodbye to my click 5 concert pictures
goodbye to my fireworks, sunset and moon photography
goodbye to my treasured family photos
goodbye to my collection of embarrassing pictures of my 2-year old cousin
goodbye to my bestfriends photos, the good times, the bad and just plain randomness
goodbye to my art and love
["...photos are a testimony that someone did live. A reminder of a past we may have loved or hated. A piece of our lives." - "Looking For Alibrandi" by Melina Marchetta]

when the guy in the computer repair shop finally gave up and told me he couldn't do anything about it, i just said thanks and walked away. i didn't rush on my way out. just walked with a heavy heart. i didn't want to think of solutions because there's none. there's no hope. just say your final goodbyes. as i waited for my sister and her friend to pick me up, i stood still outside the mall entrance and looked up at the evening sky. nothing there, it's a rainy evening. maybe someone would be able to read what i was thinking or feel what i was feeling at that time and that someone would approach me and tell me that everything is going to be alright. and i knew that moment that i need to write about the sadness to feel a little better.

i couldn't cry, i didn't want to cry, there's no sense of crying. i once made a mess like this before, only not this huge, and my tears didn't bring me back to the past, closed my eyes and opened, still inside my room, nothing happened.

my sister tried to comfort me by saying that when hers crashed, her whole world came crashing down as well (i know, aren't i feeling it right now) but she got over it. and then she and her friend started discussing about hard disk replacement, prices, etc. i didn't want to blow up and lose it, so i hushed them in a nice way to convey that what they're doing was not really helping. i did not need to discuss it for the moment but i appreciated the company.

i need a hug right now.

i know that there is a lesson, maybe more than one, that i should learn from this experience but i don't want to talk about it right now. let me mourn for a few hours first...

goodbye my hard disk. you were a great buddy when i was too lazy to pick up my journal and write, so i would just listen to the melody that you had for me. you were a great friend when i needed to be reminded me of the happy, and even sad, times. it's been an amazing five years. i'm so proud of you. even if your body came tumbling several times in your first month with me, you didn't give up. even if you were attacked by trojans, you fought and kept yourself together and everyone in your city protected. i know there were so many things i should have done to save you but... that's life. you will be greatly missed.
[current music: "step into the light" by the clientele - "goodnight my darling, goodnight, my heart's empty ... - how appropriate]

--
as i was seating inside the car and waiting for my sister, i started thinking that what happened tonight should be for something better...  please, it should be, because Jordi Labanda, my laptop, didn't give up its content for nothing.


[okay, so maybe this is a little too much emotion for a computer part. but it's like losing a memory, literally and figuratively]


--
Graks

is difficult!

Currently in the office, trying to be as productive as possible for the last 2 hours, 3 hours to go and i'm out of here. looking for the perfect music to wake me up (unsuccessful so far), and it doesn't help that the ac is on the lowest temp possible (i need to nap!)..

I'm giving up coffee for a few weeks as part of my "live healthier" goal this year (and to stop my palpitations) but i wish i can change my sleeping habits as well.

--

Graks

Zac Efron is soooo hot! :P I think any girl would love to dance with you!

Watched the high school musical 3 yesterday with one of my bestfriends. She's not a high shool musical fan but after watching it, she loved it! And i loved it! <3 Everytime we would see Troy, we would go "aaawwwww... he's so cute" or "aawww... he's so guapo". That boy doesn't have a bad angle, he's perfect in all shots, goodness! (especially in the scene where he went to east high at night and he's in the locker room changing his shirt, damn :P) And not only that, he sings well and he's an awesome dancer. My friend said she saw one of his movies when he was younger and he played an autistic kid and for her, he was still that kid even after watching high school musical 1 & 2 but after this one, na-ah! not anymore!

He's gonna do great things. :P


I'm watching it again with my cousins this wednesday :)

The girls love Sharpay :)

"You will travel to far off lands within the year" - this didn't make sense back in May when I bought the fortune cookie from a chinoy (chinese-pinoy) fastfood. But since it's about me getting to travel, okay, instead of throwing it away, I kept it and taped it on my pc monitor in the office. Who knew?

I was hoping to travel outside the country this year but not really planning it because my money-saving skills, since I started working, has gone missing. Yet,  all I needed was a motivation. A motivation in the form of Rafael Nadal, the current number 1 tennis player in the world. :) (and my hero :D) (and the tennis player with the hottest bod :P - winner of wimbledon, roland Garros & the olympic gold all in one year) He's going to play in the year-end Tennis Masters Cup in November, together with the 7 other best players in the world, in SHANGHAI!

...

But of course watching him LIVE (and not on TV) means I have to make little sacrifices which include the following:
- taking the cheapest form of public transportation instead of the cab (even if it means get up earlier than usual)
- avoiding eating out all the time (ergo get in touch with my inner domestic goddess again)
- resisting to shop for clothes & shoes (but not books & cds & movies & concerts = ooh, i can't sacrifice these) (even if the window display's screaming SALE) :S

...

But I love Rafa, so I didn't mind having to buy a pair of havaianas as my only "footwear purchase" for the past 4 months (i love shoes just like any other chica out there). Compared to how happy I will be after all the tight-budgeting is over, those sacrifices are nada! :D

After my trip checklist was almost completed (plane tickets, tournament pass, dinero, etc.), I realized that the last thing on my list was the one I was terrified about: chinese visa. From what I've heard, the embassy is very strict with the visa issuance and with all the milk issue going around, it occured to moi that this might not be the best time to go there. But I had to because my tickets and pass are non-refundable. Anyway, after I completed my requirements, still had to wait for a week to get my passport back. I was freaked out when I finally passed everything, I went to the mall to walk and think and relax and to get the whole visa out of my head but I ended up watching max payne instead, after that I was still worried.

This morning, because I was nervous of how things would work out, I sent the wrong email to some people again, couldn't focus well. After the travel agent gave the passport back to me, I immediately flipped the pages and there it was, my visa! (yay! whew! - thank god the visa doesn't have a photo on it because i totally looked constipated in my application form photo). And now I can breathe.......................... *and do a happy dance*

Voy a viajar a China! Shanghai, here I come! (weeeeeeeeeee!!!!!)
¡VAMOS!

[I am just so proud of myself right now because it's the first time I applied for a visa on my own, having to complete the requirements and all that.]

and thank you my fortune cookie!

---

this is shanghai love:

During the last 30 minutes or so at work, I got so sleepy. I increased the volume of my iPod to wake me up but it wasn't successful. Tried singing to keep my mind active but it didn't work. I even wanted to do jumping jacks but I would look weird. Because I was already drowsy, I sent an email to the wrong person. Thank god it wasn't that important. I was just waiting for the clock to turn 6:30 so I could already leave the office. While walking, I felt like I was floating, like I wasn't really paying attention to what I was doing or to the people around me. Even on my way back home, I was trying to keep my eyes from closing. It felt like the whole trip that was supposed to last for 30 minutes was cut in half. When I finally got home, I just put my bag down and slumped on the sofa and I immediately fell asleep. I was waking myself up every few minutes to check the clock. After an hour, stood up and was supposed to get out and get something for dinner but when I went to my room, I saw my bed and then dozed off again. I would have stayed in bed and continued with my interrupted sofa nap but I forced myself to get up and go to the mall to eat. When I got there, I ended up in a Japanese resto and had miso soup and chicken teriyai don. No matter how I missed the resto’s chicken teriyaki, I didn't enjoy it because I was still sleepy. Went back home and turned on the tv. I wanted to go back to sleep but I couldn't anymore. I felt tired but not tired enough to doze off. After watching wizards of waverly place, I decided to turn on my lappy and read new tol blogs and finally reply to my friend's message in facebook. I thought of two things that could have contributed to my sleepiness: 1)i was pigging out the whole day, and 2)i was just youtube-ing until after midnight for the past 3 nights.

oh and speaking of youtube, i want to show you guys this video of my batchmates in college who recently got engaged. the guy in the video was our student council president and valedictorian. he's a really nice guy, eventhough i don't know him personally, and so is his girlfriend. it was a very romantic proposal. <3

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=muWGM3uQtw8

night, ciao

I have this nagging feeling that I think I may have said or done something that I wasn't supposed to say or do. Two nights ago I got so drunk (after consuming a almost whole bottle of tequila all by myself) and my friends and I were having conversations about anything. But more than half of them I can't remember now. I don't even know how I ended up sleeping from one couch to the other :P.
But if I could remember it correctly, one of my friends confessed that she likes another friend but I didn't know what I told her. :S I just hope I didn't say anything bad to hurt anyone's feelings. :S (I blab a lot when I'm drunk)

Lesson learned is that there are some actions that are just irreversible, no?
We just have to live with them. *sigh*

¡Hola hola hola!

Gosh, I'm so excited to finally have an account here and my own personal blog with my photo :D :D :D yipee!

I don't know what my first blog should be, so I'll just do a little intro.

I'm Gra-ke (real name is Grace, btw).

I love the click five that's how i discovered the one love. that was a year ago. belated happy birthday TOL!!!

Lately, I have been enjoying the music of panic at the disco, jimmy eat world, augustana, and the perishers. and still discovering more artists everyday.

C'est tout for now.

Super thanks to Cassie for setting up!
I didn't expect that she would actually reply to my message when i told her that i would like to be a part of theonelove. It really brightened up my day when she said i was ready to go then checked the website and there it was! my own blog!

right now i could think of three reasons why i want to be part of this growing community:

1. i want to start a blog
2. i want to blog and be able to help a charity
3. i want to meet new people :)

Ciao!

-Graks