It seems I'm head over heels, a case of L-O-V-E!

This morning I cried. I rarely cry out of sadness, but nonetheless it happens from time to time. I felt alone and angry...helpless. Then, I went about my day. I fixed the problems in front of me to the best of my ability and although I'm still in the middle of quite a debacle, and wanted to do nothing more than stay at home and cry my eyes out, I did the next best thing...I made it out to the show! It was a morning show and it made me remember why I do what I do. Doing what I do puts me in many difficult situations, but the sadness I would feel leaving it behind far outweighs any temporary problems that may arise.

I've always loved two things. The first being Jesus and the second being music. Honestly, it took me far longer to learn how to love Jesus than music. My parents could do nothing to stop me once they gave me my first Chipmunks albums as a toddler. I hear the stories now about relatives wanting to take my tape player away to stop me from belting children's tunes at the top of my lungs, and I'm sure my current neighbors feel the same way when they walk past my door. I always loved it even if I couldn't see it or touch it. Ironically enough I had the hardest time believing in something I couldn't see or touch when it came to Jesus. One lyric...one straight-forward cheesy pop tune changed the way I felt. "It's okay to believe what you don't see..." Why did I have such a hard time finding Jesus when I found music so simply? Then it hit me...they were one in the same. It was His gift to me. It kept me grounded. It kept me happy. It kept me optimistic. It led me through all of the tough times an adolescent life goes through and still gets me through heartache after heartache now. It is by far the best gift I have ever been given and through this gift I have learned just about everything that I know.

When you are asked by someone if you have ever been in love, most times this defaults to the love of a person. Honestly, I may have thought so in the past, but I know I never have...not with any person...but those two things I mentioned in the last paragraph. Yeah, I've been in love and will always be in love with them. I have never felt anything close to the overwhelming happiness that many a live show has brought on, in a person. I have never cried bc I loved someone so much. I have never sacrified for a person what I've sacrified for a show. I've never wanted to hug a person so hard like I wish I could do to this untangible thing we call music. I hate sometimes that I can't wrap my arms around it and hold it close to me. I kiss and hug my CD's all of the time. I hold them to my chest and breathe them in. There is a bond there that can't be broken and is uncomparable to any other bond in my life.

Musicians make music and sometimes you find yourself more in love with the shiny paper than the gift itself. Most times you love a band and they don't nor will they ever love you back. It takes a truly genuine person to create unselfish music. The great musicians make music that loves you back. I've only found two bands that I'd ever give this credit to, and today I spent my day with one of them. In the middle of what may have turned out to be one of worse days ever, I left the venue with happy tears in my eyes, looking up and asking how I deserved to have it this good. What did I do to deserve this wonderful gift? In the middle of it all I know that I am genuinely happy and that this gift will live on forever. It's always there for me. It's begging me to dance. It's begging me to cry. It's begging me to love it...and so I do. I can't deny that faith and music are one in the same and my faith in the music gets me through everything! "Tangible" is the most overrated word in the English language.

It really is ok to believe what you don't see...and sometimes you get lucky and the shiny paper loves you back too!

Thanks for this day.

xo