I'm so excited! We just launched my music website! If you have a moment, please check it out!

http://lindseymaemusic.com

Thanks! xoxo,

Linds

Boy have I been slacking.

The Dogfish Head show went GREAT! Rehobeth Beach is such a cute little town, and everyone was so so nice! The boardwalk and beach itself were simply beautiful. As for the show, we packed the place, and everyone I talked to after really seemed to like it, which made my day. We sold a lot of CDs, and got a lot of good feedback. But most of all, I had SO much fun!

Last weekend I had a radio interview with this local station, 88.3. The interview airs this Saturday between 7-9pm Eastern time, and you can hear it streamed online at http://wvcr.com. The lady who interviewed me, Trisha Connell, was extremely nice. After talking with her a while, she told me she's been a follower for almost two years. She said she's wanted to interview me for while now, which made me so so happy! I had a lot of fun doing it, and hope many people can tune in to hear it.

I jsut booked a show in DC with Justin Trawick. It's April 18th at IOTA. I'll be on at 9pm,  Justin at 10pm. Can't wait to start traveling again! I already miss it!

Well anyways, thats all that's new in my life. Ha. I have to get ready for work....how fun is THAT.

I love the beautiful weather...yesterday it felt so nice to take my guitar outside and play. I even lost track of time because it was just so beautiful outside! Today is supposed to be even better so I can't wait to do the same thing :)

Off to work yet again, but this weekend will be great! I know the beach in Delaware is nothing like Miami or California, BUT it's STILL a beach and STILL going to have great weather! Can't wait!

So I'm going to the Fashion Institute in fall for Advertising & Marketing Communications....but I'm getting so excited that I'm started to take up my own fashion sense to a newer level.

I've been shopping at vintage shops and buying things that are handmade or vintage only...such a good thing to support (especially since it's local)! I've also started to make my own clothing which is even cooler (yet very hard...)!!

It's so fun to find new little hobbies to distract yourself. :)

I really liked this venue. Very much so. It was a cute coffeehouse with many vegan options (which is awesome for vegetarians like myself)and the lighting was fantastic. They have a stage for their performers, great sound system and lighting.

I thought my performance went really really well- some people came up to me with compliments afterwords, which was great! But overall, I feel like the audience may have liked my set, and ejoyed it, listening well...but they weren't very responsive after each song. I felt they were just observing moreso then showing their opinion of the music.

Oh well, a show is a show. At least I feel I did as best I could.

Its been a week since I've really updated...been so busy! Between performing, working full time and practicing I feel like there's barely any time to sleep!

This friday I'm going to NYC to see Missy Higgins perform- she's amazing! One of my influences actually. After the show I'm going to hangout with her thanks to my manager, which is even more awesome!

Saturday we drive to PA for my show in Ardmore at Milkboy Coffee. I was supposed to open for Pete & J, but I guess they canceled their slot for another show, so I'm opening for a big Philly band. That's not so bad.

Delaware show is in two weeks! I'm playing with Lee Nadel and Rich Mercurio, two amazing musicians who've played with John Mayer, Jewel and Sheryl Crow. I'm totally excited- we're gonna rock Dogfish Head!!

After thinking, I finally have come to this conclusion. You ask for a best friend you’ve never had, but when you get that friend, you run scared.

I hope whoever fills my space will sit with you int he hospital six hours straight. Cry with you when things aren’t going as planned. Listen to you when a day of misfortune falls into your hands. Share the laughter about being goofy. Ride around at late hours of the night blaring Katy Perry and Pink. Maybe you’ve already found that person. If so, I’m happy for you. But I’m also very sad you left a void that will never truly be filled in your own heart. I’m really sorry for that.

When you need me, I’ll be waiting…until I’m not. It’s up to you to decide who’s been neglectful. I wasnt asking for your every moment, I was asking that you let me know about your life. You were just so busy to text me. I guess it’s true…people can be too busy to answer or respond. I’m sorry I was a bother.

Middle East Club: Friday night. 10:30pm. The bar is packed tight and crowd is roaring in thousands of conversations. I step on stage, I start playing guitar, the crowd still conversates. I begin to sing, and by the chorus, I look out and see about a fifty or so eyes looking up at me. That feeling gave me more confidence to a great show. We ended up selling a bunch of CDs, people loved it. I loved it.

Victoria Station Cafe: Staturday night. 8pm. The cafe is full of a quiet audience scattered on couches, bars and window seats. I begin to play and the quiet turns to silence. This crowd was so appreciative and so respectable. We sold many CDs again, and I felt even more confident. Another great show.

Shows 1, 2, and 3 of 5 have gone amazing. Two left: Milkboy coffee, and Dogfish Head Brewery.

I love this "touring" the Northeast thing- I wish i could drop everything else and do this for a living...right now.

I just got my second batch of CDs! I have about 75 left, so if you'd like one, let me know and we'll figure out a way to get one to you!

If you are local, I only ask $5 for the CD. If it requires shipping, i request $7 because the envelopes are 1$ a piece, and shipping ranges from $1.30 to $3.00.

Please let me know (through email)! :)

my email is lindsey@lindseymaemusic.com.

I hate when you declare a friend a best friend, then suddenly they drop off the face of the earth. Then, when they come back, they tell you everything and some reason for the distance, but it's hard to speak-- they've missed so much that they don't even care to ask about.

Busy day at the coffeehouse today. I open every day this week...I'm so drained! I can't wait to leave work friday and sleep the whole way to boston. Relax after being so overwhelmed.

Gotta love being dropped by a friend for no reason and feeling like the only person you have to talk to about anything at all is yourself. Sheesh.

Woke up with only 25 minutes to get myself ready for work this morning. Set my alarm, yet never activated it. Dumb move on my part. I felt like I was moving 90 mph today, so much to do and so little time. AHH! Boston on friday, Connecticut on saturday. Suddenly both venues want me to play two 45 min sets last minute which is hard for a musician who enjoys playing their own music (sadly I don't have enough of my own prefered originals to fill two sets...only one set). Now I have to cover other songs, which I don't mind in my own privacy, but publically, I worry people won't like my style of interpretation of each covered piece. Whatevs. Two shows this weekend, and I will ensure that my best performance is played, and I will make sure that I have confidence. I think it's time I start sucking up the fears and using them to fuel the performance.

Personally, I find it amusing to cover "Pop" songs like 'Gimme More' by Britney Spears. Hearing the difference between both styles of "pop" is amusing to me.

Love is underrated.

Instead focusing your attention on spoiling a spouse of significant other today, focus on loving everyone. Open the door for a stranger. Let a woman walk before you. Offer a hand if you see someone struggling with something. Hug a lonely friend. Smile when you pass every stranger. Ask a cashier about their day.

Instead of loving that one person today, love everyone.

Free love, free hugs.

1. Atomictom

2. Casey Shea

3. Nate Campany

4. Alexa Wilkinson

5. Pete & J

6. Brent Shuttleworth

7. Derek James

8. Jenny Owen Youngs

9. Justin Trawick

All of these musicians are "local" favorites of mine, and really deserve to be discovered. Help them out by listening to their music, giving them your insight, and promoting their talents.

So to formally introduce myself into this great community of artists supporting great causes, my name is Lindsey. I go by Lindsey Mae (my first and middle names) when I perform. I am eighteen years old, and graduated from Ballston Spa High School (in upstate New York) last summer. I took a year off from school to work at Coffee Planet, which is the most fun job I've ever had...other than music of course!

I am a singer/songwriter and I've been performing fairly local for about four years. My voice is not that of a nice girlish range, it's actually rather low ranged. I've always love the sound of bass instruments, whether it be the bass guitar or bass clarinet (and yes, I've played both!).  You can check out the music from my recently released EP on myspace: http://myspace.com/lindseymaemusic.

I've been a musician my entire life. I sang to myself as a child, and began clarinet at age 7. I played clarinet up until I turned 13, then I began to play bass clarinet. I played for the Wind Ensemble, and traveled to Florida and Hawaii to compete with the band. My Sophmore, Junior, and Senior year, I played jazz guitar in our high school Jazz Ensemble. I won't lie, I wasn't very good because I am a self taught guitarist, and cannot read sheet music. I had to teach myself how, and really learn how to play jazz and bar chords. This took a huge effect in the way I began to songwrite my accompaniment for my lyrics.

My dad is my biggest inspiration to play- He has been in a band 40 years. I think it might be 41 years now, but I'll just say 40. He is 55. What does that tell you? He is so dedicated, and plays bass like a professional. Flawlessly. He also played guitar occasionally and harmonizes.

In my spare time if I'm not working, or playing guitar, I like to exercise and be fit. I love to doodle and paint and people watch.

In fall of 2009, I'll be attending FIT (Fashion Institute of Technology) in New York City for Advertising and Marketing Communications. I'm not into fashion, nor am I fashionable anyhow, but I am attending in hopes to learn how to promote myself and market my music.

Anything else you'd like to know, let me know! And please, introduce yourself as well in a comment. :)

I am more than just a head full of empty thoughts and a mouth full of meaningless words. I am a person with hopes, dreams and ideas that will one day be heard. I've done my time listening, now is the time to speak up.

Ever since I was a little girl, I've never felt as if I fit in with everyone. My entire life until now, I still have continually felt like this, and sometimes feel worse about it than others. I used to get picked on when I was really little, about elementary/middle school ages, which really turned me into a reserved person. My feelings became so crushed It was almost like I was mute when I entered schoolgrounds or any public setting. Sometimes I tried to befriend people because I felt they could understand or try to understand me, and some of those times I did make a friend. I remember making a few friends here and there and eventually pushing them away because I feared them hurting me like I had been before. Plain instinct.

This whole reservation of myself from the world worsened when I experienced my first death. This woman was my brother's girlfriend's mother at the time-- my brother would go to see his girlfriend, and I would go to see her mom. This lady's name was Debbie. Debbie was a down-to-earth, true genuine sweetheart in every bone of her body. She was diagnosed with cancer a few years back, and battled an awful fight against it. Chemo weakened her to oxygen and bed-riddance shortly after I met her.

Debbie was an inspiration to living your life. Although she was hindered by her illness, she refused to be unhappy and refused to show the world her agony. She was the definition of a life lived to its fullest capacity. She showed me to be happy with who I am, love the world I live in, and love each moment as it comes and goes. She showed me to appreciate the little pieces of life, and observe before I act. She taught me to always look up and never look back. She taught me to live each moment for each moment. Not for tomorrow, or the next day, or the next day. That day. Right there, right then. No regrets, just lessons learned.

Everyday she still cooked for her two beautiful daughters, she watched movies with us, and even celebrated New Years, on her feet (but with a walker); I'll never forget that day. Doctor's told her they weren't sure how much longer she would survive this cancer (because it was rapidly spreading by the end of 2002), but she was so excited to have outlasted their word, and lived another victorious year.

Summer 2003: Everyone was telling me Debbie was getting better. How could she when she became hospitalized? I heard about this and asked to visit before we left to visit family out of state. Four days prior to leaving, we drove up to the hospital. The feeling I felt when I walked through her hospital room door, I cannot explain in words.

It felt like my heart fell through the floor. I felt my throat cave in, and my body weaken. My eyes automatically began to overflow, like someone had turned on a switch. I began shaking. Then my lungs began to expand and contract quite quickly. I began shaking even more. Tears couldn't be stopped. I was on the floor. Immediately, I turned and ran out of the room and down the hall.

Debbie looked like a ghost. A transparent body of just skin and bones. She had lsot so much weight that her skin was so dead and lifeless against her bones, which you could see. She was hooked up to an oxygen tank and heart moniter. Her eyes were closed. She looked like she was already dead.

My mom and brother tried to talk to her but she kept asking who they were every few minutes; I could hear her mumbling standing outside of her hospital room. When I grew the strength to walk back in the room, I grabbed her hand. She opened her eyes and looked at me. "Lindsey," she said as a confirmation that she recognized me. I broke down, and hugged her. I don't even remember for how long. I just hugged her and told her I loved her and she was one of the best things to ever happen to me.

Before we left the hospital she kissed my forehead a few times and said to me, "I love you and God does too. God bless you, god bless you." I'll never ever in my life forget those words.

I was on my way to visit family in Alaska. I was 13 years old at the time. The night before we left, I was plagued with a three hour anxiety attack, where I had aq sick feeling about Debbie. I started refusing to go, not packing, staying in my room.

The next day we left New York at 6:52 am. We arrived in Chicago where my mom received a voicemail on her cellphone. It was Debbie's older daughter. My mom couldn't understand her so she asked me to listen. I couldn't either. My mom called her back, and as she drew her hand towards her mouth I knew it. I knew what happened. I started breathing heavily and crying haard and shaking violently. I stood up and looked around for somewhere to run. Somewhere to hide. Somewhere to cry so hard until I couldn't cry anymore. I kept asking ot go home, I wanted to go home so bad. I wanted to see her. She was gone.

Debbie passed away around 6:50am that morning.

We never turned around. I missed her funeral. For the next 11 days in Alaska I was miserable. For the next 5 years, I was miserable. Things only got worse for me...

That year I was diagnosed with Depression.

AI tried medication, I tried therapy. Nothing seemed to work for me. I felt like I deserved to be unhappy and hating myself. I felt like I was a person person. I hung out with the wrong crowd and made bad choices in boyfriends. I let myself seep into abusive friendships and relationships because I felt like I didn't deserve to have a great friends or well mannered boyfriend. I found people like me. Broken people. People who were drug addicts, mentally unporportioned, emotionally bruised, physically abused. People that were broken inside like I was emotionally and mentally. I tried to fix them, all because I felt like if anyone needed to be fixed, it was everyone but myself. I wanted the world around me to be cured, feel better. Be happy. But not myself. I always told myself I was meant to be alone, broken, and misunderstood.

About two years later, I finally hit my absolute rock bottom. After subduing to self-abuse immediately after my return home, influenced by my boyfriend at the time, I finally hit my breaking point. Coming so close to losing life, makes you realize how much it is really worth. I realized then that I needed to believe in myself that I needed to change. I realized that Happiness was not a possibility. It was an option.

People experience good and bad things to encounter emotion where it counts, in your heart. Ultimately, you choose to accept each experience as it is, and handle the emotion. You can choose to be upset your enitre life, or you can choose to do something about it to make it better. You can choose to be happy.

It was a battle for me. I've struggled the past three years and slowly, I've began to succeed. What was the big immunity I had found that kicked the disease nearly out of my life entirely? Music.

I always loved to write, but I always wanted to play guitar. I picked up my first ilatlian acoustic in 2004 and never looked back. I began to put my poetry to music, and write everything I felt in my heart onto paper. I wouldn't play for anyone, but I played for myself. I played to cure my anxiety attacks, I played to cure the tears. I played to cure my broken heart.

My senior year in high school, I really started to feel like a 100% happy person. I still had only a friend or two, and felt alone, but I was happy. I found what I loved in my life, and made something of it. Music helped me survive 2008 because ironically enough, 2008 was the worst year in my enitre life. I experienced the death of my neighbor, a 90 year old lady I had taken care of for about 5 or 6 years, the passing of my one and only best friend, my beagle, Casey (of whom I had for 12 years of my life at my side), and the death of my Uncle Mike. All three of these passings were the hardest I've ever had to encounter. Watching my dog being put down, watching her die right before my eyes. Watching my neighbor pass peacfully out of agony. Burying my Uncle six feet below my own standing at age 53.

I've had my bouts of depression this year, but music helped me through it all. Knowing that at the end of the day, I still have my guitar, and I still have contact with my emotions, I can survive on my own. I can make it through each day just strumming until I understand that life is just a constant trial. You fight, and fight, and you fight even harder to prove to the word you can endure the obstacles. You have the strength to outlast deep pressure. You have the faith in yourself to keep pushing forward to a better life. I use music to tell stories of my life, experiences, and observations. I write so you can relate, understand and learn. These songs, and these words are for you to make your own. How you relate or accept them is your own. I've experienced more that I don't care to say at the moment, but always, I will be here to talk to you, listen to you, and help you through your troubles. I can guarantee I've seen many of life's hurdles already, at the ripe age of 18.

I've turned my life around, 360 degrees with the help and support of my family, my friends, and my love for making music.

I hope that by making music from my heart, and writing about my difficulties, accomplishments, tragedies and successes, you can lead your way to a better life like I have taught myself to do over the past five years. Thank you for reading, and this so far, is my life story.