why can't things be as simple as they were years ago?

Back when we were kids and a lollipop would make us happy even if we had nothing else.

Now, why does everyone want everything? Everyone wants everything at the same time. Greed and jealousy takes over that it blinds us from what we were after from the beginning. It might be succes, it might be love, or it might just be a small job in the local store. But no, we all want everything that we dont have. 

When you don't have a job and money, you want one. So you go for a small job that doesn't pay much because all you're looking for is a job that will get you by and still let you have a life. You're happy...for a while. And then you find out that your friends have a job that pays more so you find another job and work your butt off. and then another guy comes along who earns more money so you're jealous and work even more to get a promotion. Then there's this guy who's got everything, the looks, the label clothes, the money to buy those clothes, and a girl. You are jealous of that guy, you aspire to be that guy. So you just keep working harder and harder until you get to that point. When you finally reach that, what then? Is it enough? Is it ever enough? What else is there to want when you've got everything?

people would say

I didn't get that promotion! damn it!

When they should be happy that they have a job. other people don't even have a job. People should be happy that they have what they have because other's don't

"The tighter you squeeze, the less you have." --Thomas Merton

Also, somewhere along the way, your hunger for materialistic things took you so far away from your original intention which was to get a job that pays the bills and still lets you have a life. Since you work so hard, you don't have time to spend with your friends and your family. Your relationships are broken, you've burned your bridges without meaning to.

People have become so materialistic nowadays. After you get the material stuff, is there more to it? was it worth it? Was it worth breaking your relationships for?

After all, materialistic things are temporary, they can burn in a fire or taken by the bank. Friends and Family aren't - they're always there for you, even when there's a fire and the bank is taking away all your things.

"Many go fishing all their lives without knowing that it is not fish they are after".— Thoreau

do you know what it's like when you feel like you're alone? then out of nowhere comes someone who tells you they're going through the same thing, that your're not alone

isn't it amazing how you can connect with someone that you've never spoken to before just because in your pm on msn it said "i feel like shit" ?

this person that i haven't spoken to since a team pep talk last year in a soccer game suddenly msgs me on msn and says: "this is really random but i feel like shit too. it's not a good feeling. are you alright?" i was surprised at this totally random moment but i was also touched how someone i haven't really spoken to actually cares.

so i start talking to her. then she offers to listen to whatever i want to rant about like why i felt shitty. it was a really nice gesture, it made me feel less shittier that there are still decent people in this world.

i really needed that actually. When my friends aren't there i need someone to talk to and she was there. it made me feel a bit better.

i don't have lots of friends because i'm not really the social one. but i don't need lots of friends that are just really acquaintances. i'm happy with my friends that are always there for me.

people are capable of surprising you so let them. let go of those judgements and prejudices and just talk to someone and judge them based on your conversation, not their friends, they carreer choice, their looks because that's just not fair. it's so superficial

i'll leave you with this today. I don't know where i heard it but i think i heard it from my sunday school teacher

"when you judge someone, you lose an opportunity to make a friend"

i talk about happiness 2 days ago

today i feel like shit.

what is it?

is it the same as contentment?

how can you find it?

how long does it take?

why do i ask too many questions?

anyway, the point is. I'm finding out what true happiness means. Today I'm extremely happy for some reason, i'm still finding out what. This is what i have come up with so far

Getting good grades

doing what i love

being told i was good dancer

spending time with friends

achieving something

having plain fun

right now, those are the things that make me happy. I guess happiness is subjective. It's not the same for everyone. It's not even the same for me, it depends on what day it.There's not just one reason, you can't really define what will make you happy because it's constantly changing. So stop looking and just be happy :) whatever it is thats make you so

a simple song can cheer me up

one word can put a smile on my face

one lame joke and i'm rolling on the floor

I guess I'll leave you with this:

"You will never be happy if you continue to search for what happiness consists of. You will never live if you are looking for the meaning of life." - Albert Camus

failblog.org

www.engrishfunny.com

have a break from your homework, job, or whatever is stressing you out and have a laugh. My last 2 blog entries revolve around laughter because i think its one of those things that you have to do a lot. at least like 6 times a day.

it's healthy

i'll post a laugh: fun facts blog soon

cheers

this is a filipino thing i found online. for those of you who can read tagalog here it is

Buti pa ang Paranaque...............may BF

Buti pa ang farm....................may chicks

Buti pa ang halaman.................may nagaalaga

Buti pa ang bulaklak................blooming

Buti pa ang candy...................sweet

Buti pa ang gulaman.................may sago

Buti pa ang manok..................nakatali

Buti pa ang mangga..................matamis ang pisngi

Buti pa ang bees....................may honey

Buti pa ang tennis..................may love

Buti pa ang stuffed toy.............hinahalikan

Buti pa ang papel...................sinusulatan

Buti pa ang report..................may objective

Buti pa ang Geometry................may triangle

Buti pa ang Chemistry...............may lab

Buti pa ang mapa....................sinusundan

Buti pa ang nitso...................may bulaklak

Buti pa ang patay...................may dumadalaw

Buti pa ang prisoner................binabantaya n

Buti pa ang jaywalker...............pinipituhan

Buti pa ang pinto...................binubuksan

Buti pa ang big bike................humahataw

Buti pa ang alphabet................may U and I

Buti pa ang poste..................steady

Buti pa ang radio...................pinakikingg an

Buti pa ang rosary..................may mystery

Buti pa ang Three Kings.............may regalo

Buti pa ang misa....................serious

Buti pa ang novena..................constant

Buti pa ang pari....................committed

Buti pa ang soccer..................may goal

Buti pa ang basketball..............may ring

Buti pa ang Disneyland..............may Mickey

Buti pa si Mickey...................may Minnie

Buti pa si Michael Jackson..........may moves

Buti pa si Camilla Parker Bowles....may pag-asa

Buti pa ang kalendaryo...........may date

Buti pa ang hersheys.............may kisses

Buti pa ang probability.............may chance

Buti pa ang telepono.............hini-hello

Buti pa ang film.............nade-develop

Buti pa ang typewriter.............nata-type pan

Buti pa ang exams.............sinasagot

Buti pa ang problema.............iniisip

Buti pa ang assignment.............inuuwi

Buti pa ang panyo.............nadadalantay sa pisngi

Buti pa ang baso.............dinadampian ng labi

Buti pa ang unan.............inaakap sa gabi

Buti pa ang kamalian.............napapansin

Buti pa ang salamin.............minamasdan

Buti pa ang hininga.............hinahabol

Buti pa ang tindera.............nagpapatawad

Buti pa ang tindera.............sinasabihan mo ng mahal

Buti pa ang awit at tugtog.............pinagsasama

Buti pa ang sugat.............inaalagaan

Buti pa ang lungs............malapit sa puso

Buti pa ang bra.............kakabit ng dibdib

Buti pa ang kotse.............mahal

Buti pa ang pera.............iniingatan

Buti pa ang mahjong.............sinasalat

Buti pa ang damo.............dinidiligan

for those who don't, here is a rough translation of a small part of it. i'll post a whole translation later

Good for the mirror, people look at it

Good for probability, it has a chance

Good for hershey's, it has kisses

Good for the calendar, it has a date

Good for the plants, it has a caretaker

...some people don't

have a read of stuff here:

www.fmylife.com

its a crack up

cheers

so, its been a while since i've blogged i've been extremely busy with international day practices, homework, play rehearsald and such. I was so stressed out and tired i almost forgot how it felt like to laugh like lunatics

as per the blog title, it's true. When you're having a bad day or feeling really sick, all you need is a little laughter and you'll feel so much better. yesterday during lunch we had so much fun laughing at anything and everything.

we laughed at things that we were not supposed to be laughing at like things that sound wrong or the numerous mishaps of our teachers. we laughed at each other's embarrassing moments and we laughed at random little things that come up spontaneously. we all were just laughing at everything without a care in the world.

...and i like that feeling. I love feeling carefree and that there is nothing wrong. just living in the moment you know? Being the realist that i am, i don't get to experience that often because my reality radar is on most if not all the time.

so everyone, laugh, enjoy life because it's too short to waste it worrying. like jason mraz puts it...

I won't worry my life away

my most played song out of 900+ songs in my itunes library is Say by John Mayer. Close rivals are all the songs in James Morrison's album titled Undiscovered. These songs mean a lot to me and they also contain a lot of lessons and advice. The lyrics are the kind that you would want to live by.

"Say" not only appeals to my ears but also to my heart and mind.

Have no fear for giving in
have no fear for giving over
You better know that in the end
its better to say too much
than never to say what you need to say

even if your hands are shaking
and your faith is broken
even as the eyes are closing
do it with a heart wide open
say what you need to say

the words to this song are words that i one day wish i can live by. I am the kind of person that would stop and think (sometimes overthink) things before i say them. I'm not saying thats a bad thing but sometimes, i overthink too much that i miss my chance. My lame excuse for that is that i was waiting for the right moment, or i wasn't sure if i would offend that person. The thing is, there are no excuses. There have been times where i was in that situation, i had something to say, it was a little thing but it would have made a massive difference except i didn't say it. I think that if i said that one little thing, things would be a bit better. But for now i will have to live with it.

So it is one of my goals (yes i keep goals) to be able to just say what i need to say even if i'm scared or unsure because words are powerful and as matt goss puts it "one line can change a story". Hopefully the things i say will make things better but they might also make things worse. But i think it's easier to live with that rather than beating myself up for not saying something that i know would have made a difference. It's hard to tell whether i need to or not say something. right now i'm not a very good judge of those kinds of things. but i'm getting there as well.

so the lesson is, don't think too much. just say what you need to say because you'll never know how much your words can change people's lives.

Now on to James Morrison's album. Undiscovered in my opinion is all about realizing, acceptance, and discovering emotions. This album is one of my favorites. I love all the songs but there are some that stand out more than the others.

there are songs about realizing that things are over

It's time to surrender
It's been too long pretending
there's no use in trying
when the pieces don't fit in anymore
the pieces don't fit here anymore

there are songs about putting the past behind us and forgiveness

I'm still here but it hasn't been easy
I'm sure that you had your reasons
I'm scared for this emotion
For years I've been holding it down
and I love to forgive and forget
so I try to put all this behind us
and know that my arms are wide open
the older I get the more that I know
it's time to let this go

I wondered, why do i love these songs so much that I need to play it over and over on repeat for howevery many times. This is why

if you havnt, have  a listen to them. They are 2 of my favorite singers/songwriters.

I am at home but my heart is elsewhere

...so is my functioning brain

I got a day off from school because i'm extra tired, to the point that i might fall asleep in class and get caugt OR collapse in PE during basketball assessment. so i chose to avoid that and stay home.

for science class we have an in class essay tomorrow about the ethics of cloning and our opinion on it. I never actually thought about cloning as a possibility. I always thought about it as a thing of the Sci-Fi movies. But hey, nowadays anything and everything can happen.

Somewhere along the way, i came across the question: if you had the choice would you clone yourself?

my answer is no mainly because there can only be one me, if i was going to die, so be it. I dont need to make a copy of myself for other people to enjoy. I would rather that they enjoyed the memories and experiences that they had with the real me because as i have learnt, you can clone a brain but you can't clone a mind. Meaning your clone has a brain but it doesnt have the same memories, experiences, upbringing as you have. You may look the same on the outside but on the inside you are two different people. Secondly, it would be truly bizarre.

how about you?

so how does the title connect to the question of cloning? I guess it's got to do with the second to the last statement that i made. you have the same physical but different mindset. Your clone might be at home, but it's heart is elswhere.

did i just compare myself to a clone? 

okay, maybe blogging is not the best idea right now considering i have a maths test tomorrow that i have barely studied for, a webpage for IT class, and some document for Thai Studies all for tomorrow but i desperately need to destress. I'm drained. I had basketball for 90 min, then 2 hours of play rehearsal and our director was not happy, after that about 3-4 hours of filipino dancing practice for international day. So as you see, stress is inevitable and blogging is my escape

letting my thoughts translate into words on the screen freely is my de-stresser

anywho, apart from all that, today was a pretty average day. Chatting with friends, catching up on what has happened during the weeklong holiday. Mine was pretty much uneventful except my uncle with his wife, mother in law, and niece has arrived just 2 days ago which means super heavy eating and sightseeing all over again.

Yesterday, we rented a van and went all the way to ayutthaya, then to this riverside restaurant for lunch, then another one for dinner. The food was delicious (if you're into grilled seafood and thai food) and not to mention, the view. This was actually a pretty good idea because i had a photography assignment for art due the next day :) here are a few photos to fill you in

*the photos are not in chronological order**

simply beautiful isnt it? 

i'm not really one for the touristy photos but one won't kill me

i have a recently discovered a fetish for flame pictures

the buddha images have their heads missing because that's where the gold was so that's what the people took.

delish.

Tom Yam Goong

:D

"Take me home?"

you've heard of street vendors...

their version of the tuk tuk

i also have a thing for dog pictures 

we were out the whole day. the sun was shining soo bright, the air was humid and we were all sweating a lot. A LOT. but it was worth it

now back to the world of homework ugh

okay, i know it was like a month ago but it was the highlight of my year. Not only did i get to meet one of my favorite bands, it also addresses a very important issue in our generation which is modern day slavery. I don't know anyone who is involved in modern day slavery but i do know that we need to take notice of it, overlooking the issue won't make it go away.

here are some photos of MTV EXIT live in Bangkok

booya! :D :D

with Thaitanium! yeah!

This is when kyle jumps off the stage

:)

with the click five!!!!!

playing Be In Love

After the show

thaitanium

epic

:D

XO

a little editing

"Don't Let Me Go"

:D :D :D

BEN ROMANS

then there was a dog

I'll talk more about MTV EXIT later, now i need to take care of some cleaning and tyding up :/

Once upon an english class, we were asked to write about the most important thing that our mother has told us. I felt that this was one of them and i wanted to share with you what i wrote because it thought that it would be good advice. It goes like this:

 "My mother would always tell me to “hope for the best and expect the worst”.  This has helped me keep my feet on the ground. I guess if you hear it for the first time you may say that it’s not the right thing to say to a child but if you give it a second thought, it’s important to remind yourself that things will not always go your way. It’s okay to dream big but remember that anything can happen.

It all started when we moved to Thailand. Where we used to live 4 years ago, I was younger and quite oblivious to what is happening around me. I got used to asking for something and getting it. I reach for the stars going higher and higher and never coming back down; not even thinking about the fall. And then all of a sudden, gravity decides to pull me down and I hit the ground hard. Gravity is something that I learnt in school, it’s real but I chose to ignore it when I was reaching for the stars.

Refusing to acknowledge that something is there will not make it go away. The same goes for reality, refusing acknowledge it doesn’t mean it’s not there. And the reality is, gravity will always be there.

I guess having heard my mom tell me this over and over have turned me into quite the realist, always reminding myself that there are two sides to everything. It’s not always fun or easy to do but it’s something that helped me go through a lot of things. If I join a competition, I would hope to win and get the prize but I would brace myself for the loss. It makes dealing with the disappointment much easier because you’re expecting it, you’ve prepared for it and you can take it. When you actually win, it feels so much better because you’re not expecting it. Although you are hoping for it, it would still come as a surprise.

Moving to Bangkok turned out to be better than I expected it to be.  It was different for sure but good in a lot of ways. I settled in to school quite quickly, made great friends, I was granted more freedom and treated more like an adult even though it has only been a few months since we moved.  It was all great fun but at the end of the second year, reality set in. it was the end of my mom’s contract and we were not sure how much longer we were going to stay here. We hoped for another year at the very least but prepared to pack up and move again anyway. Luckily we got another 2 years to stay here. Since then we prepare ourselves for another move. Not by packing things in boxes but by doing the most that we can while we can because we’ll never know if we get another extension. We go the places we’ve always wanted to and do what we have never done before so that when we leave, there won’t be any regrets and “I wish this” and “I wish that”. No loose ends.

As a matter of fact, the 2 year extension ended a month ago in December. We keep hoping but we also keep expecting; never just one of the two. You have to keep a balance. It’s important to know the difference between hope and expectation.

 i do hope you found that worthwhile. Good night TOL, in thailand time that is

the picture says it all...possibly more

I’ve always wanted to become a TOL blogger because I love reading the blogs here. It has taught me a lot and made me laugh. I’m bad at introductions so lets keep this short and sweet. i was going to use one of those facebook/myspace surveys but it didn't really work :P so here's the basics 

My name is Maria I’m 15 at the moment. I’m an expat and I love it – it has taught me a lot. I want to be a graphic designer/photographer when I grow up.  It’s easier for me to put things down on paper or (rather type it)  than saying things in person

i don't know what else to put in here because quite frankly, I don't know who I am yet but i'm on my way. In class yesterday, we were talking about how narratives can shape who you are as a person. I'm thinking that blogs work the same way, when i write about something i learn something about myself everytime. So come with me as i unravel my identity and discover the meaning of life (whoa) okay maybe not the meaning of life but what life means to me.

I hope my blog will be an eye opener, an inspiration, a source of entertainment, or even just something to be read because you are so bored – a small part of your life.

I can hope all I want but I’m not expecting anything. I’ve wanted this for a long time so I’ll make it worthwhile for myself and for you, readers J

Last but not the least, Thank you TOL for letting me blog!!! and happy birthday Ben Romans!