Barbie is back to haunt me, I think.

For what I've done to her when I was young.

For as long as I can remember, all my friends love Barbie when we were younger. But, she freaks me out. I don't know why is that, but there is something about the doll and the way she looks at me that makes me freak. 

When my mum got me my 1st Barbie all those years ago, like every mum in the world, she must be expecting me to dance around in happiness or something, but I remember looking down at the doll in my hand and thinks, "what the hell is this thing?"

I think it was after a few days, I was thinking I cannot live with "this thing" anymore, and so I dismembered the doll, and hide it inside this shoe rack outside the house. And then I remember being scolded by my mum when she found the dismembered doll in the shoe rack and brother laughing his head off.

That was my 1st and last Barbie doll. Even when I am playing at my cousin's house which is filled with Barbies cause of her obsessions with dressing them and all, I never see the point and look at those dolls with such hatred in my eyes she knows better and never let me near those dolls again. 

I guess when I was young, I was all Lego over Barbie. 

And then a few days ago, I had this dream. It was Christmas and I was unwrapping my Christmas gift from my brother(like he'll really get me one), and it was the same Barbie doll that I dismembered. And then that thing started saying, "You killed me. You killed me." non stop. 

Seriously. I still am afraid of Barbie. People think I steer clear of the Barbies section in toy section because I hate them, but it is actually more fear than hatred. Or fear that has turned into defensive hatred. If it's possible.

Mayyie