If I could write you a song.

So, today was the 1st day of the 3rd and final semester of my second year. And how was it? We got told we need to dress formally every Monday, as part of our training "for this profession that we chose"(regardless of whether we regret the decision now it seems). AND, our Criminal Law midterm exam will be on my 21st birthday. Nice one, really. 

Chris said that CNY for him this year was one of HBO and Aussie Open, that's because he went back for work on the 2nd day of New Year itself. But for me, it was so much more. Apart from watching all those movies on HBO and Star Movies(Cinemax tends to suck, I have no idea why), I find great pleasure in following the Australian Open for the 2 weeks! Aussie Open is the only grand slam which I get to watch because it always happen to be during my semester break. It reminds me of why and how much I loveee tennis. And apparently, my youngest cousin who is 9 year-old is a sports fan as well. Meaning, out of the 3 girls in our family, it's 2-1, sports over Barbie and dresses! Yeshhhh! 

There were incredibly insane amount of visiting happening this year. As always, our house was flooded with relatives since my dad is the oldest son and my grandpa is living next door. On the 3rd day of New Year, uncle and my dad decided to take a road trip to visit my late grandma's brother and sister. These are some people which we kids don't even know how to address them because our relation is far too distant or complicated. But I wasn't complaining, since more people means more Ang Pows! It was rather meaningful because this is the first time we kids see their families but, 8 people in a Toyota Avanza is NOT fun. It was like a horse ride for us sitting in the 3rd row. 

Anyway, had a gathering with my closest secondary school friends this CNY, and while we were talking, I had an epiphany, a mini one maybe. When someone hurt you so much, it is only natural that you hate the person, and you will do whatever it takes to erase him from your memory. I have always been told that when I totally erase him and take him out of the equation of what formally will be him related, I am there. I made it. And apparently I did, since when asked of the primary questions, I naturally exclude him. But, it was when I was lying on the bed talking to my friends that I realized, he might be erased from my conscious mind, but not my subconscious. I was making the biggest mistake of my life, because of what that thing did to me, without realizing it. And as usual, when I do, it's too late. 

So, thank you very much Mr.Beale. There was always only words between us. Take that out, and there is nothing. So, if you see me wince when I say words like "apparently", or get really pissed when I hear Darren Hayes, know that I am sorry but it is in my system. 

"You can only blame your problems on the world for so long, before it all became a same old song."

It will not make the same mistake again.

Mayyie xxx