What do you do when you realize someone you have trusted with everything is not the person you thought they were? Someone who has become your best friend and even more. Someone who could relate to your roughest times. A person who you looked up to for their strength. For how they made you feel so cheerful and happy. It is a disappointment. a letdown. I feel like I am back in third grade and my cousin is telling me Santa is not real all over again. you do not want to believe it and you wont until you see it for yourself. It is devastating. What do you do when you realized everything they told you was a lie…that while they were telling you what they want you to hear they were telling others the exact opposite.  Do you confront them and tell them how you feel? Or will they care? Do you just let it go and find a new friend? Even though you know it will be hard to find someone who can connect with you about certain obstacles. It is hard to find someone to replace someone you have history with. Someone who has changed you.  Do you just stay friends but just not be as involved? I have had my share of fights, disagreements, and loss of contact with friends but I have never been so let down a friend. This isn’t just another heartbreak...it is a deep friendship with a little love that is breaking. I guess it could be considered a heart break but it seems like much more. Maybe we will work things out and stay friends but I don’t know if its worth it. I guess that’s a decision I need to make…

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-if you room with your best friend or someone you know make sure it is someone who you have similar habits with (wake up/go to bed at same time, cleanliness, studying habits, and someone you can handle in large quantities )

-if you are allowed to, prop your door open while you are in your room?people will stop in and say hi?.its an easy way to make friends.

- be prepared to have no privacy. So if you like to talk on the phone without others hearing your conversation, or just like to be away to think then you might become best friends with your car

- have fun decorating your door and room for the holidays.

- Easy Mac is better than ramen noodles because you do not have to clean dishes afterwards.

- recycle!

-Have movie nights or show nights (grey?s anatomy night, chick flick night, etc.)

-showering with flip flops on sucks!

-????????? The first month of college is when people are the friendliest so don?t go home on the weekends or you will miss out and people will already have their groups of friends.

-????????? Don?t be disappointed if the first groups of friends you meet disappoint you. You?re most likely not going to meet your bride?s maid or best man the first week of college.

-????????? Don?t be afraid to meet new friends?they won?t replace your old ones?you will just have twice as many

-????????? If you have a lot of money on your meal plan it is a great way to bribe friends from home to come visit (free food for them)!!

-????????? There is STILL drama?and lots of it!

-????????? Fraternity parties are fun but anything can happen.

-????????? Learn to cut your friends off of drinking before they make a complete fool of themselves

-????????? Don?t let a friend go to a fraternity party alone?they might end up in some random guy?s bed or throwing a full beer can at some guys head.

-????????? A lot of people smoke but that doesn?t mean you have to.

-????????? Don?t call a fraternity a frat in front of a fraternity guy?its an insult and they will go on a huge rant about it.

-????????? As easy as it is?DO NOT PROCRASTINATE.

-????????? You have a lot of free time?use it wisely to study and do homework.

-????????? Homework consists of papers and studying. There is ever hardly any busy work like in high school.

-????????? Don?t be embarrassed to wear old high school shirts?it will start conversations with people from surrounding areas.

-????????? Work in study groups?you meet people, can learn more, and get your homework done faster(most of the time)

-????????? Take breaks while studying (not too long of one?s though). Call a high school friend, your mom, or go say hi to a neighbor.

-????????? Professors are not as intimidating as people make them out to be. if you have a question go into their office during their hours and ask for help. If they know who you are they are more likely to give you extra credit at the end of the class if you have a borderline grade.

-????????? Go to class? a lot of professors take attendance and those are EASY points!

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yesterday I went to the park and just laid in one of the tunnels on the playground and just let my mind wonder. As I laid there I have realized that so many people have had such an impact on my life and I bet they do not even know it. Most of them I have not seen or even talked to in years. People that I think about on a regular basis. People that have helped me become who I am. People who have believed in me. People who have taught me lifelong lessons. I am so thankful for them but I bet they have no idea. I bet not a single one of them have any idea how much they still mean to me. As I laid there I thought about how I wished I could tell each of these special people how I feel. For some, it is too late because their time has already came. However, for those that are still here…I need to tell them. I need to let them know I think about them all the time still. I need to tell them how much they taught me. How loved they made me feel. And I need to tell them how thankful I am that they have been a part of my life. Once this blog is posted i am going to go to work in writing letters to these special people that deserve a thank you.

So yesterday morning my friend noticed a small bug bite type thing on her shin. As the day went on the skin around this bug bite looking thing started to get red and yellowish white pus started to build up. This area of her shin started to get a warm sensation and the pus blister type thing started to build up. By 10pm this mountain of pus on her shin was sticking out about a fourth of an inch. We called ask a nurse and searched Google and came to the conclusion we needed to go to the hospital as she could have a staph infection. She has all of the symptoms… redness, a warm feeling around the area, pus build up, pain, etc.

The hospital was no help. When she arrived the nurses had poor communication and did not know where she should go and were getting irritated with each other.  One nurse came in and wiped this thing across her forehead. My friend had to ask what she did and the nurse responded “oh, I just took your temperate” so then my friend had to ask if she had a fever (which she had a slight one). Aren’t they supposed to automatically tell you what your temperature is? Then the doctor comes in. As he looks at my friends shin he gets a confused look on his face. He just stood there. He kept saying how he didn’t know what it was. He didn’t know if he should pop it or not. Don’t tell a patient you don’t know! My friend is sitting there asking a million questions. Do you think it’s a staph infection? A spider bite? Do you think I’m allergic to something? What else could it be? His response to everything was I don’t know.  He said how he didn’t think it was a staph infection (even though she has all of the symptoms) and it could be a bug bite she is allergic to. Well…shouldn’t he find out? What kind of bug? Is it a deadly reaction? Don’t doctors have some database they can type in symptoms and have a list of possible infections pop up? Or at least something similar to that? The doctor kept saying how he didn’t know. He didn’t know if he should pop it. He didn’t know what it was.  He didn’t know what to do. At one point my friend had to tell him how he was really making her uncomfortable because he kept saying he didn’t know what to do or what it could be. He just looked at her and ignored her comment. The doctor finally decided to pop it after swaying back and forth with a syringe in his hand. The nurse wiped up the pus on a cotton swab and said they would cultivate it. The preliminary results might be in today (this was all taking place last night) but “they don’t really mean anything” and she will have to wait three to four days for the actual results to come in. They put a small band aid on and sent her home with no medication, no ointment, no instructions, nothing.

Please tell me this does not look normal to you…

Now what is she suppose to do? Wait? What if it is a staph infection? She is supposed to just let it keep growing on her leg until it spreads everywhere? What if it is contagious? Shouldn’t the campus be notified to clean the workout mats? Don’t the bathrooms and hallways of the dorms need to go through deep cleaning?

Curling up on the couch watching a chick flick with some tomato soup and grilled cheese. i am exhausted after this long weekend and am on the verge of getting sick.

i am tired of eating unhealthy and eating cafeteria food. i would love to be at home right now in my own room with my puppy curled up next to me.

My grandpa passed away on September 11^th, 2001. He did not die in the terrorist attacks that everyone relates to that date. My grandpa was extremely wise. He would always talk about how our economy was going to go to bad and we would go into another depression and he did not want to live to see it. My grandpa passed away, from a heart attack, around 4:30 in the morning the day our country went into shock. His wish was granted by a few hours.  I decided to go to school at northwest Missouri because I was familiar with the town. Its where both of my parents were born and raised. I had plenty of great memories of my grandpa here. I knew this is what he would want. This is a small college town. Living in this small town I pass the park where I remember my grandpa would push me to the stars on the swings. I pass his old house where we would spend hours around the kitchen table playing cards. Every time I walk past our arena I am reminded of his neighbor in whom it is named after. The hardest part is everyday driving past the funeral home. The very last memory I have of him. This town is full of memories with him…they are everywhere. The first couple of months it made me happy and proud to be going here and to be reminded of all these wonderful memories. Now, I just wish I could drive over to his house and play cards with him. Or that I was 5 again and he could push me to the stars on that great big swing that doesn’t seem so big anymore.

Grandpa, I miss you!

This is something I wrote last year but after watching a third grade flag football game it made me come back to this so I figured I would post it...

The other night I had an hour between two soccer games where I watched 2 teams play each other. The girls playing were probably 6th or 7th grade. I had a lot on my mind so I blocked it all out and watched the people around me. As I looked around and observed I realized that the things we do for fun are really not fun anymore…unless you consider being yelled at, and degraded by others around you. Like I said before these girls were probably 6th or 7th grade and here they are suppose to be having fun but instead their parents, coaches, teammates, and friends are yelling at them for every little mistake they make. The parents were constantly yelling at the girls, as along with the coaches and team mates. Instead of saying “good try” “maybe you will get it next time”…they were saying stuff like “come on your going to make us loose”, and “That was all your fault “. I rarely heard a comment that was positive. There was one time when a girl on one of the teams shot the ball…it was not what I would consider a rocket shot but it was pretty hard far left corner. The goalie dove for the ball. She blocked. However, she did not catch it in her hands. The coach yelled at her and said “Erin that is a routine save. You should have gotten that... you are a waste of my time if you cannot catch that ball. ” I was shocked. Just because the goalie did not catch the ball... even though she blocked it… she was “a waste of time”. Everyone makes mistakes. We are living in a world where everyone tries to be “perfect”. Nobody is perfect and we need to start accepting this more. Our constant competition to be the best is making the things we do for fun loose their purpose.

Going into college I was told countless times you meet your true friends in college and your high school friends don’t matter. I love my high school friends.  We all were there for each other and we knew we could tell each other anything and they would listen. I was determined to prove this “rumor” (or whatever you may want to call it) wrong. Every day I was in contact with almost every single person in our “group”. The first month of college I was home every single weekend besides one…they came up to visit. I am afraid to let go of them because I am so determined to prove this rumor/statement false. However, it is hurting me. I am afraid I will meet new friends and they will be replaced so I have not made very many new friends here at college. Most of my friends went to the community college in town.  Lately it has really been hurting me seeing them always together while I am here without them.  The past week or two I feel I have been arguing with them more and more about pointless stuff.  When we were together we never argued. Maybe everyone was right? You do find your true friends in college. Or maybe we all just miss each other so we are taking it out on each other? I am not sure what it is. I am to the point where I am afraid to talk to them about things going on in fear it will start an argument. I find myself questioning our friendship more and more. I sometimes feel the friendships I have are a one way road when they should be two. I guess time will tell and either way it will be for the better so from here on out I am going to make it my objective to meet at least 3 new people a day, talk to my friends from home less (I feel it makes me more homesick), and become more optimistic.

You make me feel wanted

You make me happy

You understand me

You compliment me

You can put the biggest smile on my face

You are the one I hope every text and phone call is from

You scare me sometimes

You are everything that I am normally not interested in

You have changed me…for the better and the worse

You are not approved by very many of my friends

You do stuff I do not like

You get mad when I talk to other guys yet you still do stuff with your ex

You confuse me

You hurt me

I don’t know what to do with you…

Well, I guess in my first blog on this amazing site I should start out by telling a little bit about myself…

 My name is Meghan (obviously!).

I live in Kansas City and have my entire life. It is not as boring as one might think; however, it does have its moments.

I am 18 years old and a freshman in college. I am currently an elementary education major but at semester I am changing my major to psychology.

I love my friends and would do anything and everything for them.

 I love music but I will not like a band just because my friends do or they are "hot". I have to enjoy their music. Music helps me get through the day, every day. I love concerts...there is just something about being front row at a concert...just this adrenalin rush you cannot experience anywhere else.

I want to travel the world. There are so many great places that I would love to see. My number one place I would like to go is Africa. I would love to go help out there. I think I take my life for granted and I believe that would help me be more thankful for what I have. I also would like to go to Australia just for fun. Maybe I could gain a cool accent while I am there?

I want to make a difference.

I am always on time; unless I do not want to be.

When I am stressed I go out to a park and go for a walk and take pictures of anything and everything.

I almost always have my camera with me.

I do not drink the bottom fourth of a bottled drink. I do not have an explanation of why but I just don’t without realizing it.

 I am a lefty. Rumor has it people who are lefties are smarter because they use the right side of their brain.

Whenever I find a quote or saying I like I write it on a post it note and stick it to my wall.

I played soccer for 13 years. For 6 of those years I played on two teams. I have spent more money on soccer than anything in my life.

Lastly, I would like to thank Cassie for inviting me to be involved in The One Love!