I <3 all 3 of them.

http://www.nbc.com/Late_Night_with_Conan_O'Brien/video/clips/julia-louis-dreyfus-wants-another-emmy-93008/715361/

September is National Sketch Writing Month:

"Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to write 30 sketches in 30 days. They don't have to be good, they just have to be written."

http://www.nationalsketchwritingmonth.com/

I accepted the mission. You can find my sketches here:

http://thatsshamtastic.tumblr.com/

ps- Quantity does sometimes prevail over quality. Just for this month, it is acceptable :) But hopefully at least one of 30 sketches will make you laugh... or at least think!

xo.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7hhVjSbV_oQ

This week I've somehow managed to:

-only have a 2 day work week in the office

-stumble upon an audition with no agent

-book a commercial job off of that audition

-become SAG eligible off of that commercial? Really?

-eat all of the craft services snacks from that set

-gain 3 pounds (guesstimate)

-fall out of love with 3 of my 4th draft "this is the final" sketches

-sleep less than 6 hours a night

What a fun week :)

I'm 25 years old and I've never voted.

Why? Not really sure about why.

Its not because I have never cared before, or never had an opinion.

Not because I never paid attention.

I think really, I've never been so inspired to believe that my vote counted for anything. So I'm very excited for this November to be a registered voter in the State Of New York.

And as said in last night's speech, 10% chance of change is just not enough:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ato7BtisXzE

xoxo

I'm ashamed of the length of time it took me to decide how I could spell out shmoo-lie. (Rhymes with July, not Julie).

Anyhow, here is what I did in July instead of blogging:

vacation in Maine:

sailing

hiking

eating far too many crab rolls

reuniting with the long lost dirty martini

not check my email enough

life in new york:

working on sketches

reading Great Expectations (still doing this one)

tennis lessons 

sketch class at UCB

work worky work

Wend night adult jazz class at Steps.

Its good to try new things. Especially ones you are not good at. Me? I am not a good dancer. Well, okay thats untrue. I am a great dancer if we are at a party, a wedding, on top of a bar, and so on (so I am told and so the videocamera tells me). However, I cannot follow choreography to save my life. So I figure, why not take something you are awful at and force yourself to practice it in front of a mirror and remind yourself that you are indeed, quite awful. But it wasn't so bad! You see, these "adult beginner" classes are filled with an assortment of women who were about as equally uncoordinated as I.  So go out everyone! Try something new :) Do it with others that are equally horrible, (so long as you have a good teacher) and you will all walk away happy.

August. Might be my happiest month of the whole entire year because of this: http://www.fisherbikes.com/bike/model/simple-city-3W.

Yeah that's right. Teal. And I like it. No, no, I love it. Of course I will wear a helmet to protect my brain.

That is all for now.

xo.

http://www.newsweek.com/id/132536

Newsweek article on "My Beautiful Mommy" The plastic surgery themed book to help children cope with their mothers' self esteem issues.

Really?

Really Dr. Michael Salzhauer?

Does it go something like this?

Child: Mommy! You have big boobs now, you didn't have those before.

Mommy: No, I didn't. And look how much happier I am now!Its just like when mommy buys you a new toy and you get really happy. Well these are mine and daddy's new toys. Now Daddy will love me forever.

Child: I don't understand. Where did they come from? And why do you have bandages covering your entire face?

Mommy: Oh hahaha. These? These are nothing. Its just like when you color a picture with your crayons. If you don't like what you drew, you just crumple up the drawing and throw it out to start new! This is Mommy starting new.

Child (starting to cry): So you threw some of you in the garbage?

Mommy: Some of my abdominal  area. Yes. Hahahaha.

Child: Mommy you are scaring me.

Mommy: Sorry, Mommy is on heavy meds right now. Here, read this book, "My Beatiful Mommy". Then you'll understand!

http://www.nbc.com/Saturday_Night_Live/video/play.shtml?mea=2763

love.her.

No, not the musician. Though I do enjoy her music, and may write about it at a later date.

I'll be MIA for a bit. Lost in a sailboat or the forest somewhere in Maine. Yes, vacation! I love you and I have missed you.  I shall return after the first week of July with photos and other lovely things of that sort.

And now a few lists. Because I like listing and this is my blog so I can do as I please :)

Things I will do when I return from Bar Harbor:

Edit some long awaited videos

Friday night NYUL volleyball (Thats 6/11 Cassie! So come!)

Church with Allison Light

2nd draft some sketches

Trade my 7pm bikram for the 7am (maybe)

Paint some thing new for the love of God why is this taking so long to get on?

Dance. Because there hasn't been enough of that lately

Things I am ashamed of doing, but continue to do anyway:

Watching legally blonde's search for the next Elle (ugh.)

Spending all of my money as soon as I get paid (tis bad)

Paying for overpriced cotton at American App (damn my love for highlighter colored cotton!)

Things that have made me laugh:

This video: http://youtube.com/watch?v=Rcx4_CszaDI

Ellie Kemper's 1 woman show at Spank last week.

Saucy & Sassy (just you wait)

Sarah the wheat thin monster

Trying on wigs at Ricky's

Things that are yummy:

Pho 32 (beef Pho) 32nd and broadway. I frequent this place all by myself and luff it.

Skinny Cow's mint icecream waffle cones

Activia strawberry yogurt (yummy + after effects)

Thai Iced Tea (cafetasia by NYU)

Essie's Bermuda Shorts color- yes I know nail polish is not edible, but it reminds me of little purple candies

Bazooka bubble gum (even if it rots your teeth)

Pears and honey. (new found love)

Beef carpaccio at  La Botega (Maritime hotel)

.... I'm getting hungry.

So after my 6 hour sham.tastic extravagenza of eating far too many swedish fish, magnified people watching, finishing Art By Committe [Charna Halpern], airport shopping, buying and reading a third of Eat Pray Love [Elizabeth Gilbert], and emailing myself an unfinished blog... I MADE IT HOME!

After a terrible weekend, I am determined to make this a fabulous week. I'm actually unusually chipper for a Monday morning. With good reason. First, the 21 webisodes that sucked the life out of both AWTL and I at work for the last month, came out great and were reviewed by MTV.com. Looking back, I have to say Pretty Ricky is one of the most creative and professional groups I have worked with so far. Really! There was a lot of laughing, joking, and 2am "Im so tired I don't want to interview them any longer." But the end result is very entertaining to say the least. You can check them out at www.prettyricky.com

For anyone that knows myself or Adam Donald, you already know the stories behind these. Here is the mtv.com synopsis of it all which made me laugh out loud today:

http://www.mtv.com/news/articles/1589315/20080613/pretty_ricky.jhtml

Continuing with the Monday goodness, I revisted an old favorite video that I made with some favorites of mine. I tend to do this whenever I need a good chuckle both at myself and with others: http://youtube.com/watch?v=RyDTByJ_K6M&feature=related

But wait! What is this? A response video? The next 44 seconds of youtube-ness caused a sensation I can only descibe as almost peeing in my office chair due to incredible laughter. Its probably not even that funny to the outside eye, but for me and my Monday it was perfect and i luff it: http://youtube.com/watch?v=xKPpMoyD1mA&watch_response

Ahhh... smiles.

Although I'm no cook food wise, (I burn noodles) I'm going to take a shot at creating a recipe for a good week. Tailored to my tastes but you are welcome to try it:

4.5 Cups of Bikram Yoga

8fl oz. of coconut juice

Bake [bc supposedly all ladies are born with the ability to bake. Maybe baking is easier than cooking pasta] Bake in the summer sun for 3 days.

Let cool at UCB's Harold night

1 glass of red wine

1 live music show [Maybe Atomic Tom on Friday?;)

2 long overdue phone calls

100 pages of E.P.L.

...wow that is the extent of my cooking vocabulary knowledge. Ah well... I'm good at other things... I think.

xxo.

Please excuse any typos, as this was all typed frantically on my blackberry and I refuse to spell or grammar check before pasting. Nor will I take the time to separate my thoughts with spaces. So sorry If this is hard to comprehend, but I've just returned to New York after 6 hours of delay, 200 pages of "Eat, Pray, and Love", far too many "snacks" to pass the time, and in a state of delusion, have found it necessary to post an incomplete blog? ex and oh, so here it goes:

I can't figure out how to log onto theonelove from my blackberry. Is
 that even possible? Either way, I have been stuck in an airport for 5
 hours so far trying to get to new york from a place that is only 3 hours
 away. I feel like stomping my feet, and yelling, or taking patron shots
 at the airport bar. After taking a good look at the other passengers,
 who have done all of the above, and witnessing their continual
 discontent, I have decided that emailing myself a blog would suit me best.
 Besides that, I am far behind on my blogging dues. Right now I'm looking at
 a group of women travelling from spain. I know this bc I spent hours 1
 and 2 out of the 5 doing some extreme people watching, which included
 reading the open passports of those nearest to me. They seemed calm as
 they sat with their passports wide open to the part that shows your
 photo, as if we would be leaving at any moment. Why aren't any of the
 american passengers acting this calm?
 I'm going to google that later. Maybe a good activity for hour 6. I
 was excited to get to new york early today. I was going to clean my room
 to the soundtrack of lykke li, duffy, feist, and etta. This was to be
 followed by a long overdue trip to the movies. What is it with moving to
 new york and suddenly never seeing movies anymore? Instead I am
 listening to multiple flight cancellations, watching steadily unhappy
 passengers, and typing away like a mad woman. If I were people watching myself
 right now, I would think "wow that lady is typing a furious
 email.maybe I should look up and smile every once and a while bc there
 already enough furious people at this gate. That just makes me look crazy
 actually...and yes I did just try it. I would trade all of my newly
 bought airport snacks for my ipod right now. My God! This is so hard without
 music. Stupid nano for being so freakishly small that all I do is lose
 you over and over. To be very honest
 about this whole weekend, it was been 20% weekend and 80% lame. But
 let's try to find the happy little spots of sunshine, shall we? Afterall
 I could be typing on this all night and who really wants to read an
 entire blog of complaints? I left thursday night and lost my new glasses
 someplace between my office and la guardia. But hey! They could be on my
 desk. The flight attendant on thurs night was a total caricature if
 there's ever been one of a flight attendant. If I dreamed one up she
 would have looked like her and sounded like her. Only this woman was uber
 rude in a sort of subtle way that left you questioning yourself. Then
 came the sunny side. When she used the intercom, her already nasal voice
 cartooned itself into something I could not help but repeat. I may have
 looked crazy, but I was literally repeating everything she said under
 my breath and laughing when I got it right. Now you may be confused as
 to how a mean woman with a cartoonish
 nasal voice does any bit of good.at this moment maybe not, but in some
 future sketch show some where, behold! There will be questionably
 rude, nasaly voice, otherwise perfect flight attendant woman! Alas! Whoa
 this is too good to be true. On the brink of hour 6 they have announced
 that the flight is finally boarding!!! Oh please let this happen, I want
 to go home. Blog to be continued...


      

Actual blogs coming back soon. In the meantime, here are some comedy shows I will be performing in if you want to see me! Bc I'd love to see you! :)

Stephen McNamee's Sketch Show Extravagnaza Bonanza
Friday, May 30 2008, 8:30pm - 9:30pm

SWiM Against The Current Productions in association with The "Burns"
Foundation presents:
Stephen McNamee's Sketch Show Extravaganza Bonanza!

What do Care Bears, Blackwater Security personnel, procrastination,
puppies, chocolate, kissing, contraception, and the metric system all
have in common?

Find out, Friday, May 30th, 8:30 p.m. sharp!

Tickets: $10

Gotham City Improv

48 W. 21st St #8
New York, NY 10010
(212) 367-8222

Gotham City Improv is conveniently located near an embarrassingly
large number of trains.

Letter Trains: A, C, E, F, L, N, Q, R, V, W
Number Trains: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 (The only number train you can't take
is the 7 train.)
PATH: Sure, get off at 23rd St.

June 21st- Improv [Class show]

2:30PM

Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre ·

UCB Theatre New York. 307 W. 26th Street New York

xx

Last week I produced a live concert shoot (which is now in edit) of Janelle Monae (The Wondaland Arts Society/Bad Boy Records).

It is times like this that I really love my job. Phenomenal performance! I urge you all to check out her music:

www.janellemonae.com

www.myspace.com/janellemonae

some photos I shot during the show, that may or may not show up on this blog bc i still can't figure photo posting rules out:

" alt="" />" alt="" />" alt="" />

xxox.

 I am drinking a Starbucks Honey Latte

I am excited about the arrival of Spring

  I am not blogging as much as I’d like to

     I am sleeping less than I really should

I am directing an amazing documentary

       I am missing my Mom

             I am starting to paint again

     I am extremely busy at work

         I love New York when the sun returns

 I love Coney Island being right around the corner

      I love my three ridiculous roommates

              I love Brooklyn shopping

               I am trying to play volleyball more often

I am trying not to all lose trust in people who give me reasons to

         I am trying to remember my vitamins every day

I can’t wait to produce webisodes in sunny Miami

          I can’t wait until Hilbee comes to New York

             I can’t wait till Meesh is my new co-worker

          I can’t wait to see another musical

It took me a few minutes to decide whether or not to post another blog today. I mean, it might look like I have nothing else to do but blog on top of my own blogs. (While the rest of the working world reads Perez Hilton) Pshhhh.

I thought about waiting until tomorrow so I'd look like I got really busy with life, you know? And didn't have a chance until the next day to blog again. It was just too much effort though---trying to avoid blogging on top of myself. I would have to start contacting other bloggers, asking them to write a blog so I could sandwich theirs. Wait... maybe by the time I finish this one, someone else will have written one. 

ramble.ramble.ramble.too.much.espresso.today.

The truth is I am uber busy with planning two upcoming productions for Bad Boy that I am very excited about. [Details will come later, im too busy for 3 blogs today] However I care about you all SO much that I had to share this fun video. In between prop hunting and crew hiring, I was sent this link by Meesh. [My constant form of entertainment.]

So if you were ever wondering what I was like at four years old, here you go, link of the day:

http://www.mudbubble.com/projects/twinkle_twinkle.html

" Dream on... Dream away. I think I'm gonna have to stay " - Color Me Badd

I like this.

Yeah I think its a good way to start a blog. Quoting songs that I maybe should not have been allowed to listen to at the ripe age of eight, but still remember every word to.

I aaaah-doreeee.... (ooh ooh ooooh sings Spanish man in braids)

Moving along.

 I've had a very eclectic collection of dreams lately. Not sure what most of them mean, so please enlighten me if you know the answer. Here they are in no particular order. [One or two may be daydreams. I'm having trouble telling them apart.]

Dream 1- I'm backstage with Michelle Obama. I somehow got passes to this onstage book reading and I am thrilled. Just gushing to her about my excitement. She brings Barack over and for a picture. When she goes to make some closing statements I am alone with him. Trying not to be a home wrecker. Nothing happens. Weird. I just give him the "eyes". Wake up.

Dream 2- Showtime at the Apollo, Harlem New York. Someone thought it would be a great idea to perform improv at talent night. Everyone from my Wed. class is there and we play "hot spot" (google it) One of my favorite improv games ever. One particularly funny guy, Ahmed, ends up in the spotlight for so long that he is forced to sing an entire song. This is for the whole population of Harlem NY. We were a hit with them. I think? Wake up.

Dream3- I'm a makeup artist for Danity Kane? [I mean I do work with them every so often in real life, but I'm horrible with helping people on hair or makeup] Wake up. I didn't even get to see if I did a good job sheesh...

Dream4- I am at Tabb High School. In the gym. Not sure what I am doing back there. Angelina Jolie and her grey cat are next to me. The cat seems up to no good, but Angelina assures me he is really nice *note i am NOT fond of cats* Then he attacks me. Jumping higher than any kind of basketball player. He flieeeees toward me and gets me by my head. I throw him off and as he circles around me I notice the name "Shadow" tattooed, HUGE letters, across his side. What the eff? This is a bada** cat! I mean what happened to him as a kitten to make him so damn MEAN!? He runs toward me again. My heart beats so fast I feel like I can spit it out. I look to Angelina and whats that? A shoulder shrug? WTF!? Is she is going to let this possessed cat attack me AGAIN? Wake.up.

Dream5- too fuzzy. never mind I can't put together the pieces and turn them into actual words. wake up.

<3 besos <3

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wgrrQwLdME8

I've watched this video more times than I probably should.

I.can't.stop. mwuahahaha

I own way too many dresses and plan on getting more, however it is true that my hair is always a mess.

Oh come on, Train? Who knows that song? It can’t just be people that are actually from Virginia.

Either way, that’s where I was all last weekend. Delicious Virginia.

Don't get me wrong, I've had a huge crush on you, New York since I was a wee girl in feather boas and t-shirts on my head* 1

But going back home is always nice. The wind softly blows on you like it's wishing on one of those funny looking weed flowers*2 ... However, here the wind seems to try its damndest to knock you down into puddles, blowing so hard sometimes it spits on you.

Side note: Virginia, although I am here in New York and loving every minute, you will always be my elementary-through-college sweetheart.

It was a relaxing but exciting trip. I spent Saturday trying on bridesmaid dresses with one of my bridezilla best friends. Just kidding... she is not a bridezilla [yet.] The wedding isn’t until October. Although I voted for a hot 2 piece magenta mom suit, we ended up picking a beautiful chocolate dress (I will draw a picture later)

Between that there engagement party fun and in between that, lots sleep in the comfiest, quietest, no school construction sounds coming through your window at midnight, yummiest bed ever.

With all the engagement party, bridesmaid bonanzas going on, a girl can’t help but to think of wedding fun.(Especially when she can't sleep bc the school construction is still going on after 1am) Not that this is anywhere in the near or mid-near, or medium-distant future for me, I’d hope it is in the future nonetheless.

I was thinking about it and how fun it would be to have a musical wedding. Like in the movie Confetti. Very Christopher Guest-eque UK movie. To curb my appetite for singing dancing men in overdone hair and makeup, I was thinking maybe just the bridesmaids could perform a number choreographed by none other than Meesh*3 That’s as far as I got on the wedding thoughts.

Anyhow, New York. I'm back baby. Did you miss me?

*1 yellow t-shirts equivalent to blonde wigs, I had quite the imagination

*2 why does every child thing these weeds are magic? That wasn't just me, right?

*3 If you have seen "Chomp The Box" you have seen her moves. If not, go to youtube ;)

I have to stop staring at people on the subway.

What is wrong with you?

There is a piece of blue lint or string hanging on this mans face. What would he do if I just blew it off ??

I mean that person probably knows you are looking at them, without even looking up.

But what if a little spit came out when I blew? He would think that was on purpose.

Come on you are wearing knee high yellow boots today, and nothing you do will go unnoticed. Stop staring.

How did that even get there? He has nothing blue on. Its waving at me every time the door opens and closes. Can he feel that? 

Especially with the weatherman being TOTALLY wrong about the 90% chance of rain. You are like a light pointing out: Attention! "Someone is staring at you"

Maybe he sleeps with a blue stuffed rabbit named Squiggles and its in his briefcase. When he gets nervous at work he probably closes his office door and rubs it on his cheek.

Wow you must be uber tired this morning huh?

He could have been hugging a blue-oversized-sweater-tall-socks wearing lover this morning. Straight out of an 80's movie. If I squint it looks like it could be a sock string too.

You do realize that when you squint, you tend to lean your head forward and are now 3 inches closer to this man, right?

Geez it just moved again.  Jazz dancing on his face. 

You have been staring at him for ten minutes now.

Its like having something in your noise waving back and forth... Oh goodness there is something crusty attached to the string. 

Look away.Look away. Look away. 

Is that a BLUE booger?

You really need to control yourself.

Oh my goodness I just laughed out loud on an otherwise quiet subway. Its 9 am and I am laughing out loud. At rainbow boogers.

Great! Now he is staring at YOU.

I. Oh! Scars!

Marion Cotillard, I love your description of the way you felt winning your Academy Award. I can only cross my fingers and wish on every birthday candle and anything else wish-on-able to feel this way:

"I am so totally overwhelmed with joy and sparkles and fireworks, everything that goes 'bom bom bom.'

Bom bom bom... I'm don't think I've felt that way.ever. Have you? Its now on my list of things to do.

II. Video of The Day  Link Of The Day (bc I obv dont know how to get the video to show up)

http://www.nbc.com/Saturday_Night_Live/video/#mea=221772

 SOoOooOo--hooooo--ooooooOOoo happy the writers are back!

xxo.

III. ps....

re: my default picture. Yes that is really what I look like. I have ridiculous and uncontrollable hair. (which I have drawn to look somewhat more tame because in self portraits you can do as you please) I love apple, and would totally iSham myself if I could. I am also found more often in the clouds than down on the ground.

<3

I. I'm Engaged

I'm finally making that big leap.

With my teal spandex and leg warmers on I am ready to jump.

Of course I plan to be 100 percent faithful from here on out. No cheating. No running away. I'm talking pure dedication here.

No more starting a blog on every site that exists, only to let it slowly die away as I get busier in the week. No more using blogs like a piece of meat, harping on my least favorite place in an alias-authored review, only to throw it to the side once I'm satisfied.

Nope. My engagement with this blog will include the most exciting and insightful things I have to say. It may include some of the most ridiculous  and boring things I have to say. However, it will be my one and only, for what I have to say. I'm hoping it will be one of those long lasting love affairs. Long lasting at worst and forever at best. 

II. And So It Was

How did we meet you ask? Well before I even knew it existed, I loved this TOL. Every time I switched sites I was looking for one that would be giving back when I was putting in. Myspace blogs not counting of course, because who really cares about kudos? So there I was having a writer's session with Ben Romans for Miracle on Bedford. Of course Ben got off subject and starting talking about The One Love amongst other assorted things like unicorns and neon sunglasses. When he told me each blogger supported a charity of choice it struck a chord. It was December 2004 when I decided I would somehow, some day, in someway contribute to ovarian cancer research. My mother is an ovarian cancer survivor but back in 2004 no one seemed to know what ovarian cancer was, or symptoms, or that it ever existed. I told my mom back then I would do something, anything, to change the lack of knowledge about this cancer. Shame on me for taking so long! After Ben told me the wonderment that was The One Love, I began courting Cassie and Jade with flowers, chocolates, and jewels, because I wanted to start a blog THAT bad. ;)

III. What I am Currently Fond Of:

Wed night improv class@ Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre

Barack Obama

Cherries

Rock On: By Dan Kennedy

New music: Janelle Monae: www.myspace.com/janellemonae

New yellow rain-boots 

Flight Of The Conchords

Wicked: On Broadway

The One Love <3

IV. Link O' The Day:

http://www.ovariancancercenter.org/basics/symptoms.cfm

xxxxxxxo