I hate goodbyes.

I just received the call that the husband of my mother's close friend passed away this morning. He's been sick for a very long time, but there's this part of me that still felt like he wasn't going to die anytime soon.

I hate it when things only get put into perspective when something bad happens. Why can't we learn to take better care of the things we love before we lose them?

Even when he was really sick, he managed to come to my graduation open house. It broke my heart to see him that way, but I was so grateful for having him there. Now I feel completely awfully, though, because I didn't get my thank you notes sent out in time, and he'll never get to hear how much it meant to me to have him there.

I've been so absorbed in my life lately that I haven't spared enough thoughts for the lives of others, and now I am overcome with grief at my own selfishness. I made a mistake that I will never have the opportunity to make right.

Still, I know that as horribly as I feel now, this is a blessing. If nothing else, I have learned yet another lesson. I hope I have the strength to become better, if not for my sake then for the sakes of the people I love.

If you have a spare moment, please spare some thoughts or a prayer for the family of Howard Earles. He was a wonderful person, and he will truly be missed.