(_)apital C

Everyone changes, that's nothing new.

I notice the wind of change in myself. My confidence rises a notch, my meanness rises, my temper rises and my rate of ranting rises. Fortunately, the id hasn't taken full control. Superego to the rescue, or so I hope. My compassion has grown (slightly) and I have mellowed in the sense that I no longer see everyone as enemies. I put 2008 in the past, where it belongs, and have tried to move on. Yet, I'm sorry to say that some people are way too keen on digging up the skeleton.

There's honestly nothing I can do about that. I've done my best to forgive, and I think people should be more appreciative of that, because to forgive takes a lot of effort on my part. People in general know that I'm pretty vengeful. Not a pretty sight, of course. But I can tell you I'm trying.

Narcissism aside, I can feel my surroundings changing.

My friends have changed. Sometimes, when I look at them, I wish I can just hug them and say that everything is going to be all right. Especially you. When I see the look in your eyes, I can tell that if you keep on going like this, you'll collapse. I don't want that to happen. But you're not the type who shares your feelings openly - it's rare and alien for you. I understand. Nevertheless, there are things between two friends that need not be said. I know, or at least I try to know, how you feel. It's a maddening feeling.

I'm beginning to feel it too.

Unfortunately, the world isn't going to go back. It isn't going to stop. It's only going to keep moving, and moving faster. The weaker ones perish in the fast-paced battle, while the stronger ones have to become even faster and stronger to stay on top.

So where do you stand?

I feel things changing when I move.
Across this planet without you.

And then there are those who think they can rule without a battle.

Blasphemy.

The Carmenata.