Will losing a friend ever be any less painful?

Because i'm still hurting.

- Grand Central Hotel, Singapore.

free internet service: the gift of gods. thank you, Changi Airport!

i have mixed feelings about airports: they generally carry the meaning of goodbye. its either goodbye-- i'll be back in a few days, or goodbye-- i don't know when i'll be back again. but still. it's goodbye, and goodbyes make my heart grow heavy.

separation has its faults
i don't want to leave it all

thank you, Singapore, for so many new memories and moments that i wouldn't trade for any amount of money.

p/s: i bought GLAMOUR magazine from the bookstore in the terminal. and gosh, doesn't Britney look amazing?

The first thought that popped into my head as soon as I stepped out of the taxi: EVERYTHING'S SO EFFIN' CLEAN.

It's a stark contrast to the fairly dirty streets of Kuala Lumpur, where you can't walk a block without seeing at least a few binliner bags piled up next to a cockroach-ridden dumpster. Here, you apparently aren't allowed to spit or jaywalk, or else you'll get a fine. Scary.

My parents have disappeared somewhere -- my mother must have found that massive Marks & Spencer's store at that mall on Orchard Road.

Twenty minutes more, and i'm going to go meet Bao and Cynthia about two streets away from my hotel. We're going to get some sushi -- god knows where the two of them will be bringing me, but i'm sure we'll have a good time :)

More updates later, when I can get my hands on a computer.

Will I ever stop being busy?

My schedule for the holidays is just as packed as my schedule for my second university semester! Only this time, the difference is that i'm not working my butt off, and i'm off having fun instead.

Before I get caught up in the whirlwind of parties, university applications and teary farewells, i'd like to wish you all a merry Christmas and a happy new year. I hope you're all spending the holidays with your loved ones.

Singapore tomorrow, Penang the week after!

This is the life.

<3 Winnie

I've been up watching the US version of Make Me A Supermodel. Three episodes in, and i'm already hooked (yes, i'm watching it the illegal way).

Being a fan of model reality TV shows, I love how this one is sort of a blend of ANTM and Bravo's Manhunt -- one that includes girls and guys at the same time.

The girls are quirky and different- my favorite is Holly, for those two very reasons, and the guys are all hilarious and not to mention gorgeous, which brings us to a prime example in that category that I cannot get enough of: Casey Skinner.

What did I tell you? Gorgeous.

A little more digging, and I am delighted to find out that he teaches music and plays random acoustic shows in his band called The Squishies (this name amuses me to no end) apart from modeling from time to time. you can check them out at http://www.myspace.com/thesquishies

Now, to see if he wins the show... DON'T TELL ME ANY SPOILERS!

...soft-shell crab maki.

i've been craving this for months and months, and even though i stuff myself with it every time we go out for sushi, it still isn't enough.

all that mayonaise does no good to my thighs. *sigh*

"This could be the most difficult piece of news we have ever had to post. Sadly, Phantom Planet will be playing our last show, December 12, at the Troubadour in Los Angeles, the same venue that we played our very first live all ages gig, back in 1994. We have had an amazing time playing together for 15 years, but we have officially decided to go on hiatus, and will not be playing any more live shows or making any new records, indefinitely. There is so much more to write, but at this time, we just want to say thank you, to everyone, for their support, friendship, inspiration, attendance, and love."

from PhantomPlanet.com

i may not have listened to all their songs, just a select few, but this still hits me hard. no more good happy clappy songs like Do The Panic. and no more hilarious drunken weekly videos on Youtube :(( i'm going to miss them the most.

well, they say all good things must come to an end.

Switchfoot: their entire discography is my therapy.

their music has helped me through countless times when i just feel like dropping everything and giving up. they're always what you'll find playing on my iTunes when i've stayed up 24 hours trying to get work done. 

what's best is that their music isn't generic. instead of singing about breakups and relationships and all that usual stuff, they make music about living life in general, and going through all its ups and downs. one song (one of my favorites) is Learning To Breathe, a song about letting go and moving on, and another is Dirty Second Hands, a tricky song about Jon (the lead singer)'s bout with depression.

they're a bunch of good guys, too; no fan has ever come back from meeting them without saying good things about them. they're so eager and friendly, and so fun to be around. you can watch their podcasts here - careful though, those are addictive.

i'll continue to gush if i go on, so i'll just leave you with a few videos, and you be the judge.

Learning To Breathe

Awakening

**

Everyone I know
Needs love like drugs
Like a common cold
We could never shrug

My baby and me
We're missing the same stuff
We've all got a disease
Deficiency of love

since I haven't really properly introduced myself on here, despite having posted quite a fair bit, i'm going to go ahead with Issa's little tag, but i'm changing the rules a little: i'm not tagging anybody once i'm done, since she tagged everybody.

15 random facts about me:

1) my mother named me after Winnie The Pooh. partly because she was an avid Disney fan, and partly because she wanted her first child to be a happy-go-lucky carefree person... and that's what she got for twelve years before i became this seething cauldron of rebellion. (her words, not mine)

2) i'm afraid of fish. live fish. it all started when my eight-year-old self turned the corner into the shark tank area at Underwater World and came face to face with the hugest fish she'd ever seen with eyeballs the size of her palms. needless to say little eight year old me ran out of that place screaming her head off. i found out that i'm afraid of anything bigger than your regular goldfish in aquariums/the sea. 

Even pictures like these creep me out and give me goosebumps:

3) my biggest fear is change: that's probably why my outfits are always paired in the same way, and i always order the same thing at restaurants. somebody call the fashion police!

4) i used to be a thumb-sucker, and that's why my right thumb is slightly larger than my left.

5) about five years ago, i was running up an escalator, eager to catch up with my parents when i didn't watch my steps and i tripped. as a result, i have scars that resemble vampire bites on my left leg, and i make jokes about them all the time.

6) my favorite color is purple: Gabe Saporta purple -- the exact shade! HEY GABE, YOU STOLE MY FAVORITE COLOR!

7) sometimes, i just want to be a carefree kid again without a worry in the world.

8) i'm very possessive over my friends. which is bad, but it breaks my heart to lose a friend. i've recently learnt to deal with it, so maybe it'll get better. i also treasure my friends a whole lot.

9) i'm afraid of the dark.

10) i'm CRAZY about sneakers! i own four pairs, currently, and i'm saving up to get myself that perfect pair of Air Force Ones.

11) i forgot i had to post 15 facts about me and i only wrote ten and i pressed the save change button. fact: i'm a dork. *facepalm*

12) i am addicted to Livejournal. can't go a day without posting something on it.

13) i dance to songs like 'Dancin' In The Moonlight' when i'm home alone, and sing along loudly to songs like 'I Will Survive' by Gloria Gaynor.

14) i'm hooked on Bones and 90210! i have to watch at least one episode per week.

15) i currently have an obsession with Michael Johns from the latest season of American Idol.

i'm still up watching Bones. this episode is making me so mad. the writers really went too far with this one. i could almost write a whole ranty post about it but i don't want to spoil it for those who do watch it and haven't yet, so i'll save it for later, or another time.

good night, world!

xx

It means no worries, for the rest of your days... well, to be exact, only three months for me, but still!

I've just completed my first year of my degree, with two years to go, and already, I feel as if a huge weight has just been lifted off my shoulders.

No more staying up around the clock trying to finish essays and tasks before deadlines, no more having to dress up for presentations, no more having to get up at seven in the morning!! Bliss, pure bliss, until March of 09 rolls around, and the whole stress machine roars to life again.

Sigh. I guess all I can do is to live in the now and live life day by day.

I spent the evening rewatching my favorite Disney movie of all time, The Lion King, and it reminded me of days that I used to spend curled up underneath my mother's blankets in her bedroom, with The Lion King video in the player. I cried when Mufasa died then, and today I cried again.

I just found out that Zazu was voiced by Rowan Atkinson aka. Mr. Bean! It's no wonder he sounds so familiar!!!!

And the part where Mufasa from up above appears and goes, "You are my son. Remember who you are" always moves me, and makes me remember that my dad means a lot to me. He takes most of the credit for me being who I am today. Dad, if you ever stumble across my blog here after your random Googling sessions, know that I love you very much, and i'm sorry for yelling at you during those years when I was a rebellious little monster. I'm grown up now, but i'll always be your little girl :)

Disney will never be this good again. I miss the movies about princesses and talking, quirky animals! They tried, with Brother Bear, but it just didn't have that... spark, or that quality about it. It's just different. I'm sure those of you that grew up with classic Disney movies like I did will agree.

What's your favorite Disney movie?

edited for reasons unknown :P

i guess it doesn't matter any more.

It's 4.55 am and my essay's due in about six hours. Yet, i'm up doing this and randomly reading blogs and surfing the web.

note to self: START ON WORK A TAD BIT EARLIER PLEASE!!!!

Sigh. The mad rush of assignments this week won't be doing me and my already sleep-deprived self any good :(

I'm looking forward to Saturday already: friends, sushi (soft-shell crab maki!!!!), a free concert and after that, a three month long holiday!!!

I CAN'T WAIT!

it's 4.18 AM, and the house is eerily silent. i'm still up doing my Global Societies essay about culture and how it alters understandings of injustice. this one's a killer.

no one is keeping me company, save for a packet of crispy M&Ms, even though my brother (who's got a major exam equivalent to the SATs in the United States coming up real soon) promised me he would stay up with me and read some Biology notes. yeah. some promise. he's now asleep on my bedroom floor, as my aunt and uncle are sleeping in his room tonight.

speaking of M&Ms, i recall having a conversation with a friend of mine one day on MSN about them. this friend started off the chat with an ambitious "I want to change Malaysian culture." when i asked how exactly was he going to do that, he replied, "well, i started off with sending a letter to Mars Malaysia about their M&Ms"

as to how this would change the Malaysian 'culture', at least, i could understand. most Malaysians (no offense to my fellow Malaysian TOL bloggers and readers, but you all will probably know that this is kind of true...) have this "tidak apa" (loosely translated to "Who Cares") attitude about things, preferring to let things be than speaking out or trying to change them. instead of taking action, we sit back and complain. i say it's due to the media and the fear of the government, but that's another story for another post. anyway, that's the way it is over here, but i'm glad to see more and more people starting to make a difference in the society.

but the one thing i couldn't understand was, why M&M's? why not a letter to a Non Governmental Organization, offering new ideas or a helping hand?

in reply, he said, "Hey, they always say that you have to begin somewhere, right?" and sent me his letter.

Dear Sir/Madam,

Whenever I get a packet of plain M&M’s, I make it my duty to continue the strength and robustness of the candy as a species. To this end, I hold M&M duels. Taking two M&Ms between my thumb and forefinger, I apply pressure, squeezing them together until one of them cracks and splinters. That is the “loser”, and I eat the inferior one immediately. The winner gets to go another round.

I have found out that, in general, the blue and red M&Ms are tougher, and that the yellow ones are genetically inferior. I have hypothesized that the yellow M&Ms as a race that cannot survive long in the intense theatre of competition, that is the modern candy and snack-food world.

Occasionally, I will get a mutation, an M&M that is misshapen, or pointier, or flatter than the rest. Almost invariably, this proves to be a weakness, but on a very rare occasion, it gives the candy an extra strength. In this way, the species adapts to its environment.

When I reach the end of the pack, I am left with one M&M: the strongest one of the herd. Since it would not make sense to eat this one as well, I am packing it neatly to be sent to you with a message: "Please use this M&M for breeding purposes.”

Thus with all this said, I eagerly hope to receive a reply :)

by the end of the letter, i was smiling. if the guy who read and sorted out letters at the Mars company Malaysian headquarters didn't think this letter was interesting, I told my friend, then he must be blind.

my friend hasn't got his reply yet, but somehow, I know that he eventually will.

THIS VIDEO IS AWESOME -- the effects and the meanings behind it just blow me away and move me to tears <3

This band means so much to me; and so does this song. Enjoy.

p/s: Happy Halloween, TOL bloggers and readers -- I hope you enjoy yourselves, if you're celebrating it. We don't celebrate it here in Malaysia -- not officially, anyway, but this ice cream franchise called Baskin 31 Robbins has 31% off on their ice cream on the 31st :D Now I don't know about you, but I think having cheap and good ice cream is a perfectly good reason to celebrate!

i'm officially that age today, on the 27th of October.

a part of me is still that six year old girl waiting for her turn on the swings -- the other part of me wants to be a grown up: the part of me that wants to go out tonight and party hard :P

We were shown that quote in our Reporting For Print class today. It was in a Youtube video shown by a lecturer to his students, if i'm not mistaken, about journalism ethics and what content should or should not be fit to publish.

The video opened all our eyes today. We left our class, thoughtful and depressed, but most importantly, we were aware.

Newspapers today in some countries are being used and abused by political parties to spread their prowess and influence, manipulating the truth, going against what newspapers were originally there for: to spread news, and the truth. Journalists who stick to these beliefs are being locked up and thrown into prison to be silenced. Where is the fairness in this?

Does anyone remember a picture of a man who threw himself off the World Trade Center towers in New York on 9/11 and he was photographed midair before the towers came crashing down? Or a Pullitzer-prize winning picture of a baby boy, emaciated and dying, with a vulture behind him, waiting to devour him? Or maybe pictures of dead Hiroshima and Nagasaki bomb victims, their mangled, destroyed faces smiling garishly up into the camera lens?

Do these pictures deserve to be published on our newspapers? Or should they be forever hidden from the public, their voices not heard, because they would, God forbid, offend people?

Publish these pictures, I say, and let the rest of the world experience what we experienced today. Publish them, and let their voices be heard.

Be aware.

Watch the video here.

"You don't have to wear anybody else's shoes to look good - you look good in your own. Be yourself."

My mother says the weirdest things, but somehow with this one piece of advice, I heartily agree.

p/s: on the subject of shoes, i am lusting after this (or these, as they will obviously come in a pair...)

- liking new music from an awesome Malaysian band that I would never have thought of liking before (One Buck Short) and rocking out to their songs at the front row of a practically nonexistent crowd

- working till my muscles and feet are sore and then coming home to a hot shower

- bonding with teammates after the carnival over something so uncommon (or common, depending on how you see it...) like lost wallets and police stations

- eating moist chocolate cupcakes with cute icing decorations (and then licking icing off my fingers)

- taking photos and having them come out looking amazing

- dancing to the Teriyaki Boys' "Tokyo Drift" with my best college friends at our own event without a care in the world

- realizing that the event we slaved over for six months was officially OVER

- the anticipation of finally sleeping in on a Sunday without anything to worry about :)

What is bliss to you?

teamwork. such a beautiful thing. :)

we spent the whole day on campus decorating the auditorium, setting up the tents and the stage, blowing up balloons, decorating them (handiwork of a friend's and yours truly), and then stringing them up along the staircase. before we dispersed, we had to help transport two hundred tables in a line, handing them one by one from one person to another, singing songs all the way. we did BSB, Britney Spears, Queen, the national anthem, and my favorite - Frankie Valli's Can't Take My Eyes Off You. it was like a scene out of a musical.

it was a rare yet overwhelming moment. i'd gladly do it all over again in a heartbeat.

more pictures-

the banner that the publicity team worked last minute on to get it ready for printing. it's a pretty satisfying feeling when you see something that's originally from your computer hung up for everyone to look at.

goofballs in white making lewd designs on the balloons while i took a break for one minute. in the end, we had to pop them.

aaand lastly- a portion of prizes and free gifts to be taken home!! the only thing i like better than winning a prize is to give some out. the blue boxes you see in the picture are iPod docks and speakers - we were figuring out what to do with them when someone suggested we do a lucky draw.

tomorrow is the day. i can't wait! it's so exciting :)

to discover the best dry pan mee in Kuala Lumpur.

Pan mee, a Malaysian specialty, loosely translated to "Flat Flour Noodles", are noodles made from pieces of dough or flour that are flattened and then shredded. They are then cooked and served either dry or in clear broth, with a sprinkling of anchovies and mushrooms on top!

Most prefer the soup version, but personally, I love them dry - mixed together in black sauce, with loads and loads of anchovies (a must for me) and minced meat. Yum.

This picture was taken last year at the pan mee stall in my college (TCPJ), which, in my opinion, serves the best dry pan mee i've ever had so far. The sauce is perfect - just the right amounts of salty and sweet, and the man who runs the stall is very generous with anchovies and shredded Chinese black fungus (what my mom calls it - I believe the name for it is Cloud ear fungus but that just sounds disgusting hahaha).

So far, i've tried this dish at three other restaurants and hawker stalls and none of them taste as good as TCPJ's, though the one in Taman Paramount wasn't bad - (go for takeaway, the tables there were insect infested, ugh).

Any suggestions, Malaysian TOL bloggers? Or perhaps, I should try cooking my own...

edit: i want to express how sad i am that Fox apparently isn't showing a new episode of Bones till November the fifth!!!! no Bones for at least two weeks. SIGH.

For once, I have nothing to do for the rest of the day after finally cleaning my room! *is proud of self* (Okay, there's actually a pile of clothes on the floor on the other side of the bed but you can't see it, and so can't my mom ;) )

I've been stressing out over things and working my arse off on an assignment for the past five days or so, and I barely got more than four hours of sleep last night, but i'm somewhat awake, with the help of iced teh tarik and these things on my mind:

1) My classmates and I have been running around like headless chickens in preparation for this, and finally, all six months of hard work will (hopefully) pay off this Saturday at our event, the first Taylor's College School Of Communication Media Carnival. When I say carnival, i mean a carnival- there's going to be music, there's going to be games, there's going to be this huge food/fashion bazaar and a dialogue session involving prominent figures in the Malaysian media (the main guest being Yasmin Ahmad, director of hit Malaysian movie Sepet & many award-winning commercials) that will probably be a huge help to people who are thinking of dabbling in mass communications and journalism in the future. *coughSylviaWucough*

Details here! Holler if any of you Malaysian TOL readers/bloggers are interested in attending this event -- I might be able to get you freebies. Emphasis on "might", but holler anyway. Yes, it's open to non Taylor's College students and the public!

p/s: there's going to be cotton candy!!!!!!

2) I listened to "What A Catch, Donnie" on repeat on my iPod in class today while my lecturer droned on and on and on about the use of weblogs to prevent myself from falling asleep, and I love it. Thank god for hooded jackets, backseats in dark lecture halls and Fall Out Boy.

3) During that same class, my friend Geoffrey and I listened to and sang along to the Lion King's 'Circle Of Life' while he reenacted the Pride Rock scene with the aid of an imaginary Simba. Hilarious.

4) We found a huge dead rat lying on the front porch yesterday- we checked the security cameras (installed due to mom's paranoia and the increasing crime rate in my neighborhood) and it looked as if my dog pawed it to death D: Someone now stinks and needs a bath, and someone else (me) is going to have to give her one tomorrow. >:(

This is Candy, and this is her best "But I didn't do it!!" face.

I'm going to go watch some episodes of Reaper,  probably continue re-reading The Fellowship Of The Ring and then get some sweet, well-deserved sleep. Aahhh. :)

peace,
Winnie.

As far as I can remember, I always was an animal person, right from when I was a kid. I hated Barbie dolls. My mother got them for me because they were popular among little girls back then (maybe still now, but I'm not too sure, with all the Disney paraphernalia going around). I handed them down to my brother, who dunked them head-first in the toilet and pressed Flush. Nope, no Barbie dolls for me.

Instead, I wanted stuffed animals. Well, I wanted a real animal - a dog, but my parents wouldn't let me have one, because apparently having a dog would be "troublesome" and "hard" and "Oh yeah? Who'll clean the dog poop? You?"

So, I had teddy bears, several Hello Kitty dolls and a cross eyed bunny doll that used to be my favorite. I never got a stuffed dog doll. My parents thought that would make me want a dog more. Unbeknownst to them, I had Rocky. Whenever I let myself out the front door and onto the porch, I would imagine Rocky sitting there at my feet, waiting for me to play. Call me crazy, but i'm sure a few of you had imaginary pets, or imaginary friends when you were little.

And then I finally got a dog when I was twelve years old (after winning a bet with my father and loads of begging). I was ecstatic. My mother named him Jackie- after Jackie Chan. He was my best friend, then. My parents grew to love him, and he became family.

One early morning in 2004, we came downstairs and unlocked the front door to find our shoe cabinet empty, its wood doors gaping open, and Jackie lying feet-up in the drain, dead and foaming at the mouth. He was poisoned by some heartless, inhumane thief - all because of six pairs of shoes.

I was crushed.

But that isn't the point of this blogpost.

The point is, some people kill animals - even their own pets - as if their lives are worthless, or as if they have no feelings- they cruelly kill for their own benefit.

Most kill out of greed.

An animal that is constantly hunted and killed for several uses is the tiger. In the black markets in Asia, tiger cubs are sold to several restaurants that secretly sell tiger meat as it is considered a 'delicacy' to some. I think it's disgusting, and it ought to be stopped before tigers and other endangered animals go extinct. This is part of the reason why I've chosen to support this organization - the Save The Tiger Fund.

I admit that I eat meat - and have eaten meat that might be considered strange to people that live outside Asia, like ostrich and venison - but I would never eat the meat of an endangered animal or an animal that is not bred on a farm purely for consumption.

Now here's the question - what would (or wouldn't) you eat?

Hey everybody! I'm new. *waves*

I'd like to write a longer introductory post right now, but i'm afraid I don't have much time on my hands because I have an assignment waiting for me to complete by 10am tomorrow morning.... looks like another night of no sleep with my trusty cup of coffee for company. I'll write a longer one tomorrow...

Before I sign out, a huge thank you to Cassie, and the rest of The One Love for giving me this opportunity to blog here. I'm currently neck-deep in organizing events for college that concern several charitable organizations (not really known internationally, but even the small ones count!), and blogging here is a different way to help, but it's still a way to help, nevertheless! :)

Time to go do some hardcore essay-writing...

Winnie
xoxo